I’m coming to the sad realization that I did, in fact, have a normal life and childhood – I grew up and went to school and got a job and had friends and everything. I really wanted to hold on to my retcon theory, because it was mysterious and exciting and absurd. I hate finding out that I’m just like everyone else. Normal sucks.

On the great crack pipe that is Facebook, someone started a group for people who worked at the Saanich Road McDonald’s, in Victoria. I worked there from 1990 to 1993 or so, and it really added a lot to the person I turned out to be. I learned a lot working there, and very little of it had to do with fries. People, music, alcohol, sex – yeah, it was good times. Hell, McDonald’s made me lose my virginity and get drunk for the first and 20th times. I have vague memories of being roused out of a random drunken sexual encounter by the police at a house party. There was camping, with breakfast made from stolen hotcake batter and sausage patties. It’s true – before my corruption was completed by computers and the pre-internet, the marinating stage began at McDonald’s.

Dirty.

Now I can stalk people I used to have crushes on. Sweet!

Plans are falling in place for the big Five Slash Ten anniversary celebration this September. Since traveling far away is out of the question (go on, guess why), we decided to go to Salt Spring Island for an extended weekend. I made the reservations this week, and we’re going to this fancy spa resort thingie. As usual, I’ve been trying to talk friends into coming with us – it’s just not a romantic getaway without spectators – but Shan is refusing, saying we should probably be alone. Pfft. We’re alone all the damn time; I want to party! I suppose I see her point – she hates me – but I am looking forward to the trip. I’ve never been to a spa before, and I think I’m going to have a mud bath just for the sake of paying money to sit in a mud puddle for an hour. Fun!

If today was payday, it would be awesome instead of just merely pretty great.