Eminem is encouraging me to be all I can be via my iPod. I think I’ll make this spreadsheet the best spreadsheet in the history of anything ever spreadsheeted in Excel. I can do it! I will Lose Myself in this data!

My palms are sweaty knees weak arms are heavy
There’s ink on my sweater already, number confetti
I’m nervous, but on the screen my info is calm and ready
To drop sums but I keep on forgetting
My margins are set too wide, I’ve lost my stride
I merged my cells to one row with my pride
The deadline’s up, an empty cup
The toner’s run out, oh no goodbye

Snap back to reality, jump through my chest cavity
Oh there goes Kimli she choked she’s so mad
But she won’t give up that easy no she won’t have it
She knows her keyboard shortcuts, it don’t matter that her mouse don’t work
She’s wearing a skirt all in a day’s work
When she goes back to her scooter she knows
It’s time for some pants
And maybe a dance
She better go over that QA and hope it don’t faze her

I better lose myself in data, go pro rata
I’m just like Data, Lore killed our father
I don’t wanna do support, cannot miss my chance to sort
These columns won’t format themselves, yo

Seriously, guys. Where the hell is my SqueePC?

WHERE IS MY SQUEEPC?!???!?

I have FedEx rage.

And a wedgie.

:(