Daily Archives: April 19, 2010

roll the bones

Posted in adventure by

My life does not have enough random excitement in it. I mean, yes, I get to go to the opera and examine blood splatter and party with famous people and have creative stalkers and am given awesome things because I am just so adorable – but I need more. More adventure, more excitement, more craziness. I want it all. I want to be the girl with the most cake. I want to fuck you like an animal. I want to rock and roll all night and party every day.

So, with this in mind, I decided to take advantage of Travelocity’s new Top Secret program. It works the same as Hotwire or Priceline – you give the date and city, and it’ll spit out heavily discounted hotel rates. The only catch: you don’t get to find out where you’re staying until you’ve booked the reservation. I’m feeling adventurous this afternoon, so I went ahead and booked Ed and I into a random hotel in Portland for our road trip in early June. The mystery locations made available to me were three 4-star hotels with prices ranging from $85CDN to $105CDN per night, so I went with the one with the most attractive amenities: non-smoking and free wireless.

Looks like we’ll be staying at the Governor Hotel in downtown Portland for our trip. Hooray! I actually know exactly where this is; I took a picture of it the last time we were in Portland. It’s right on a streetcar line, and while I’m sure there’s going to be a ridiculous valet charge per night, it still comes below what we wanted to spend on a hotel for our trip. Ed’s first instinct was to whine about the valet, which I am ignoring – it’s his fault we’re not going in May when the rates are cheaper to begin with, so let me have my goddamn valet parking or so help me god you’ll never get another blowjob again.

Adventure!

i want a hallmark day too

Posted in everyday kimli by

I feel like a neglected child! I am apparently the only person in the office who didn’t know that my boss is on vacation for TWO WEEKS, having left last Saturday. What the hell! I’m his only direct report and he didn’t bother to tell me?! I have pressing issues that must be addressed! Who’s going to throw me emergency flow chart requests on my way to the Diet Coke? Who’s going to fill the ice cube trays when I inevitably empty them and forget to refill? Who’s going to sign my expense report??! I feel so unloved.

I have decided that whenever I buy myself an outlandish present, I am going to justify it because I don’t get honoured with a day of my own. Mother’s Day? Father’s Day? Not going to happen. Administrative Professional Day? I would be horribly offended if someone celebrated it at me, as I’m not an admin worker. IT Professional Day doesn’t technically (heh) exist, and doesn’t exactly fit what I do anyway. I’m not just missing the annual Hallmark occasions, either – I didn’t get a bridal shower OR a bachelorette party, and I’ll never have need of a baby shower. When do I get random cards and presents to celebrate ME? Where’s my breakfast in bed and margarita served out of a giant penis cup?

I have no use for either of those things, so I bought myself a new pair of Fluevogs instead:

so much awesome

There was a $40 gift card (to celebrate the 40th anniversary of Fluevog Shoes) in our media kits for the OPUS Porter launch: I figured it would be rude not to use it, so I went on an expensive but gorgeous spree yesterday afternoon. As much as I love my Qtees, it’s impossible to wear them for very long because of the utter brokenness of my feet. I am tired of life in flats, so I opted to try a lower heel: the shoe I bought has a 1.5” bamboo heel that is, so far, perfect. Hooray! I am slightly taller!

The shoes are fucking HOT on my scooter, too. That’s right; I’m admitting to something on my person being sexy. You can keep your edible underwear and clay ashtrays made in kindergarten – I’ve got sexy shoes and a scooter, so I win.