Mommy-blogger-only contests annoy the hell out of me. What, I’m not good enough to whore myself out for free things simply because I don’t have children? Yes, there are definitely some mother-oriented giveaways like breast pumps or daycare or Lamaze classes or Xanax, but what about the other “mommy bloggers only” giveaways of fun things that non-mothers might also enjoy? Why segregate and glorify one tiny piece of the online population for only doing what, some say, we’re on this planet to do? Why are you punishing my choice to not procreate by denying me the chance to win free stuff?

In response to the very thing that ignited my righteous indignation – a giveaway for a 2-day Northern Voice pass that only mom-bloggers are eligible for* – I am offering a giveaway for a 2-day Northern Voice pass of my very own. Leave a comment below to enter, and I will draw the winner on Tuesday, May 4th.

Can you imagine the outrage and horror if someone held a contest that was for non-moms only? The noise the blogosphere would generate would be deafening and full of indignant ire. And yet, I desperately want to do just that – restrict my contest to non-breeders only – but then I would be a hypocrite who is stooping down to dangerous levels I am not comfortable existing in. I’d like to think I’m better than that (but clearly not above talking about what I wish I could do even if it makes me look bad), so there are no restrictions on my contest whatsoever. You can enter even if you have children, I suppose. See? I am so very noble and magnanimous, even when I am throwing a hissyfit.

So, if you’d like to attend the annual Vancouver blogging conference and biggest nerd party of the year, leave a comment below. The prize is a 2-day pass for Northern Voice, paid for out of my very own pocket, and all because I am annoyed to hell and back at the idea of a “mommy blogger only” contest. Blogging isn’t just for the childful or childfree, it’s for EVERYONE – just like Northern Voice itself.

Disclaimer: contest prize does not include transportation, accommodation, or happy ending. You don’t have to live in Vancouver to win, but as I will not be helping you get here, it would probably help. Remember, everyone deserves love – not just one part of the population. We at Delicious Juice Dot Com think you are all equally ridiculous in all ways, and therefore do not discriminate against those with children or those without, regard of where our personal preferences may lie.

Spread the word!

*: I’ve heard from the Crunchy Carpet blog, and have been told that the contest ISN’T mom-bloggers only. And yes, nothing on the post I linked to says moms only. All my righteous indignation, misplaced or not, came from Twitter – the contest was being advertised and re-tweeted by others as “Vancouver mom bloggers – win a two day pass for Northern Voice #NV10. Just visit @CrunchyCarpets blog http://bit.ly/9tC240 and comment“. I’m sure you can see how that might be misconstrued by people who like to get angry about random things as “moms only”, but I stand corrected – and the end result is that there are now TWO contests open to anyone for a 2-day pass to Northern Voice, so everyone wins!

Except really, only two people will win.

• It’s Monday, but there’ll be boobs
• It’s cloudy, but summer’s almost here
• I’m tired, but it’s because I’ve been out having fun
• I accidentally organized a duplicate event and am being severely overshadowed (hint: mine’s the one not getting press), but I had the foresight to contact a charitable organization with the hopes of turning it into an ongoing thing that will do some good

I could easily flip a coin today to decide my mood – I’m half excited and half wanting to curl into a fetal ball of woe and strife. I know it’s mostly because I am tired – I need an entire day of nothing, not just several hours crammed in here and there – but I am a sad, busty monkey nonetheless. I know I shouldn’t be, but there is no room in my bra for logic today.

I’m quickly learning that I’m just not satisfied with good enough, and enjoy turning random things I do into a chance to Do Some Good. It’s not intentional, but I’m on somewhat of a woman’s health rampage these days – I got in touch with the LACE Campaign to contribute to my Northern Voice gig, and on Friday after I set up the #YVRboobquake event I thought that perhaps getting women to show off their cans would be an excellent time to remind them about the fight against breast cancer. I contacted the Canadian Breast Cancer Foundation to see about turning this into a yearly event – I would LOVE to see #boobquake become an annual thing – and if they could contribute to the meetup in any way. It was a little short notice for them to do anything, but they’ll be giving me some swag (with instructions on how to feel yourself up for GOOD, not just for fun) and a donation tin (all monies go towards research). Everyone knows that I love boobs and vaginas, and if I can help spread the word about keeping them healthy .. well, maybe there’ll be more to my existence than just ridiculousness and consumption.

Please consider coming out to the Gastown #boobquake meetup today at 5:30 – it’ll be fun, for SCIENCE, and a good cause to boot.

bring it, cleric.