I don’t know why, but I had the *filthiest* dreams last night. They all took place in Victoria, and involved uncut deep throat sword fighting in a parking lot and furious sex with casual crushes. It was pretty fun, from what I remember. Sex with no strings attached is significantly better than my standard of many strings with no sex at all, parking lot or otherwise.

I got a brow wax at noon, and I have a haircut scheduled for later this afternoon. I need to look good for my plans this evening: laundry and taxes. I OWE taxes for the first time ever, so I’m subtly thumbing my nose at the government by waiting until the last possible minute to file. Take that! Yeah, you fear my power.

The Hour is coming to Vancouver, and that means George will be here. George is everyone’s boyfriend (funny aside: I was planning on calling him that because EVERYONE I know has a crush on him, only to find that he’s actually listed as “Canada’s Boyfriend” on his CBC bio), and the locals have been abuzz with anticipation and wet dreams. I entered the lottery for tickets yesterday, and today found out that I got the four tickets I had requested. On May 18th, Shan, Miranda, Renee and I will be in the audience for the first of two shows taping in Vancouver. Hooray! George is super and dreamy!

Tomorrow I am planning on wearing polka dots with pinstripes. Sorry.

i am nothing but wrinkles and eyeliner

There is something so deliciously trashy about wearing a leopard print bra – I feel like I should be at a truck stop wearing short shorts and a cowboy hat. It’s good that my ability to live in a fantasy world is so strong, because if I were to be completely honest I would have to acknowledge that my bra is a black and white print which is technically more cow than cat – but there is nothing sexy about a feral cow on the prowl. Hilarious, yes. Sexy, no.

I don’t want to alarm you or anything, but my Google search bar in Firefox reads “using quicklime to dissolve human flesh”. These are the things I research when I’m bored or grumpy.

It’s a 3-day weekend for me, but it doesn’t feel like it. I’ve got a wedding tomorrow and Got Craft on Sunday, which I know from experience will completely wipe me out. I took Monday off to a) recover and b) finalize my presentation for Northern Voice. I plan to be completely prepared for next weekend by Monday night, which means getting my slides and notes in order, prepping the Mystery Surprise, getting my party outfit together, and keeping my sanity. I’ve also got a doctor’s appointment and the opera to fit in there somewhere – should be fun, crazy times.

I’m really excited about my new Smutton display. I finished it last night, along with a display for the necklaces I made (most of which seem to be bird themed for some strange reason). I need to make some new signage, but I’m ready for Got Craft. I hope the new display will make it obvious that people need to OPEN STUFF to see the dirty things; you’d be shocked and dismayed at how many people just didn’t get it even with all the 36-point-bold instructions and arrows.

I did not get pulled over by the police this morning, so I will consider the day a win.