.. as delivered by someone who’s never watched Lost:

• It’s all a dream, and Patrick Duffy was in the shower all along
• A young autistic boy named Tommy Westphall imagined the whole thing in a snow globe
• Jack will explain everything, but be cut off mid-sentence and fade to black
• Everything that happened was because humanity was put on trial
• Sawyer goes home, but his plane is shot down over the Sea of Japan
• Everyone is voted off the island and Kate wins the million dollars
• The island caves into itself after the First is defeated and the gang rides off into the sunset to be reborn as a comic book
• They’re all dead and in purgatory
• Two words: Battle Royale
• The island is alive and the mastermind behind everything
• They’re doing science and they’re still alive
• Sephiroth kills Aeris and people are still bitching 13 years later

.. I may not watch a lot of TV, but I sure know a lot of useless stuff.

First on the docket will be the guy in Toronto who, if I haven’t responded to his email promptly, will WHINE TO MY BOSS that I’m not working. He does this all the time, as recently as yesterday – an email sent at 9am hadn’t been answered by noon (because I was BUSY), so he escalated to my boss TWICE to complain that I hadn’t gotten back to him. Seriously? Do you not have enough work to do that you sit around hitting F9 to see if people have replied to your messages? Do you have a stopwatch? This is rage-inducing and pathetic. Perhaps I will go whine to HIS boss that he is being a bully.

Today I am covered up in honour of George and the CBC!