j_holtslander over on the Twitters linked to a list of 10 Essential Accessories for the Fashionable Geek. This is all well and good, but I’m a little put out – I consider myself a fashionable geek, but I can’t wear the majority of that list because I don’t do sneakers, t-shirts, belts, men’s dress shirts, or trucker hats. Honestly, most of the list can be swapped with the 10 Essential Accessories for the Ironic Hipster and no one would know the difference.

Except ME.

Since I don’t want to do any real work – seriously, fuck global outage procedures – here is MY list of Essential Accessories for Fashionable Geeks Who Just Don’t Do T-Shirts and Trucker Hats:

1. Okay, this isn’t an accessory so much as an outfit but this Star Trek Original Series Uniform Dress from ThinkGeek is all kinds of awesome – pair it with black boots and a taser, and you’re ready for work, a night on the town, and any Away Mission in between.
2. This RUN CMD hoodie isn’t actually available anymore, which kills me – I wish I had bought it when I first saw it online. It is hilarious and likely warm, which would come in handy during an Away Mission on Hoth (yeah yeah). Since that’s out of the question, here are three nerd hoodies in different styles you CAN buy:  an awesome Domo-kun hoodie, this stylish 1-Up track jacket, and the N7 “armour” from Mass Effect. Interesting note: Ed owns all three of these, because nerd boys in nerd hoodies make me hot.
3. You’ll need something to carry your stuff around in – how about this awesome Left 4 Dead 2 Health Pack? If you prefer a different flavour of geek, there’s always the ever-useful Bag of Holding. I’m all about the Canadiana though, so I carry this old school CBC bag that gets me compliments everywhere I go.
4. Nerd Girls don’t normally wear cufflinks, but shiny comes in many styles:
   • This <3 ring is unisex and cute, and also comes in necklace format
   • Science geek? The Art of Neuroscience on Etsy has you covered with laser-cut DNA jewellery and name plates
   • Tiny Armour sells Pac-Man themed jewellery (among other things), and I covet the Ms. Pac-Man and Ghost rings like you wouldn’t believe
   • Survival of the Hippest makes fun Twitter jewellery, or you can mix things up by searching Etsy for anyone who offers custom name items like this necklace of mine
   • If you’ve got more money than taste, you can ask Pharrell where he got his diamond-covered Mario jewellery
   • Remember my fabulous USB bracelet? Carry your files around in hilarious style!
5. If I’m looking good, my toys should be too – decorate your MacBook or iPad with some hip decals
6. If you weren’t cool enough to get a Canon lens mug at the Winter Olympics, you can now order one online for your very own
7. I’m a nerd, but I’m also a makeup-loving girlie girl. What am I to do, other than buy cosmetics based on video games?
8. Nerd Fashion doesn’t have to cost money – dress up your iPhone with this awesome wallpaper:

click to download the original image

I own a great deal of nerd swag that is no longer available (Quake 1 necklace), limited edition (Katamari charm/pouch/puppet; Rockstar keychain) or hand-made (Jet Set Radio Future hoodie), but there is a LOT of awesome stuff out there (do you have any idea how badly I want this) – I could easily be broke but happy and so stylish it would hurt. Nerds everywhere would lustfully chase me down in the street. It would be awesome.

if you prick us, do we not bleed shakespeare quotes?

We’re going on a CRUISE!

.. to VANCOUVER!

We are poor folk (mostly because of my uncontrollable iTunes spending) who can’t really afford to cruise anywhere exotic or far away, but that doesn’t mean I can’t make the most of adventures we CAN take. Stephanie (she of the awesome Domo cake) sent me a link to a series of 1-day cruises in the Pacific Northwest, and I was intrigued. I’ve never been on any kind of cruise outside of my imagination (when the floor was made of lava), so this has the potential to be an epic, affordable weekend of fun.

The 1-day cruises are offered by Holland America, and you can go from Vancouver to Seattle or vice versa on multiple dates in September. That just happens to be our anniversary month, so I booked us in for a cruise that leaves Seattle on Sunday evening and gets into Vancouver early the next morning. We get dinner and an ocean-view stateroom (I’ve never had sex on a boat – solo sex and group sex yes, but never 1v1) as we sail through the night.

If that wasn’t enough fun, we needed a way to get to Seattle that didn’t involve the car – so I booked us on the train. We leave for Seattle on Saturday evening via Amtrak, getting us there late that night. I haven’t decided what we’re going to do before the boat leaves the next day, but I’m hoping it’ll be restful because I don’t really plan to sleep on the boat (bwah chika bwah bwah there’ll be too much to look at). TRAIN! And BOAT! I can’t wait – Ed’s never been on the train before, and I haven’t in a very long time. We’ve always talked about taking the train somewhere but it’s hard to justify the time and cost with the $50 or so in gas it takes to drive the Mazdabator down. A one-way trip, though, was just MADE for train travel.

I am so, so excited. I love the fall and the ocean and the Pacific Northwest and complicated adventures, and this is all of them wrapped up in a relatively cheap little package. Stephanie has awesome ideas, and we’re on the same cruise she is – clearly, #hipstersonaboat will be an excellent time. I’m trying to convince other people to join us, because More People can only make this adventure More Fun.

Is it too early to pack? What does one wear on a boat, anyway?