delicious juice dot com: unapologetically inappropriate

Last night I went to a Mighty Ugly workshop, and I made a hockey.

this is my hockey

He doesn’t have a name – he is just a hockey. I was accused of making him too cute, and yes – at first glance, he is a little bit lovable. However, the things you DON’T know are what make him truly mighty ugly.

Look at his eyes. See how bloodshot they are.

he is so wasted

In his right hand, a beer – his 7th, at $8 a cup. Yes, he is patriotic and waving his maple leaf around – but when the game is over, he will LITTER that leaf by dropping it in the streets.

Litter is not cute. It is ugly.

fifty six dollars of beer

What about his jersey? Ahh, yes – my hockey is indeed a Canucks fan, and he wears #44 – Todd Bertuzzi‘s number. He’s never gotten over his hero leaving Vancouver, and thinks the suspension handed down for the Steve Moore incident was a “fucking joke”. He is in the minority, but he continues to build his fantasy hockey team with Bertuzzi as captain.

all canucks wear their numbers written in glitter

Did you notice the headphones? They’re connected to a (red) Zune. My hockey is listening to Nickelback.

HOW THE HELL'D WE END UP LIKE THIS WHY WEREN'T WE ABLE

If that isn’t Mighty Ugly, I don’t know what is.

The ugly is in the details, my friends.