i could swallow you whole

My jaw just dropped so hard I felt it click in my head. I just Googled something so astounding that I have huge anime eyes – add that to my unhinged jaw, and I probably look like a blow up doll.

The TV showed me this:

The Rock as Cliffjumper.

Neil Patrick Harris as Bumblebee.

Frank Welker as Megatron.


Holy shit, it’s like Christmas, my birthday, multiple orgasms and unlimited Diet Coke refills all in one.


open for business

All I want to do is keep my legs closed for more than 10 minutes at a time. Is that really so much to ask?

Cream Lemon the Incestuous Bad Idea Kitten has become a great deal more affectionate in recent months, and it’s making life quite enjoyable. He still has his moments – tends to bite if he doesn’t want to be moved; picks on the other cats for fun and profit – but he’s really warming up to us. Seeing as we’ve had him for over two years, it’s about damn time – he was the most petulant teenage kitten EVER.

Now that he likes us, his favourite sleeping spot is on my legs. This wouldn’t be a problem except he likes to worm his way between my legs and stretch out, taking up most of my half of the bed. I awake in the middle of each night with cramped legs because Lemon has inevitably invaded my regions, and it sucks. He’s a dead weight when he’s asleep, and I have to scoop him up (and risk being bitten) to move him – for thirty seconds, when he climbs back up again. I can’t even lie in bed without his inbred ass spread all up in my business, and it is really uncomfortable (but cute).

In the grand scale of problems, I know this doesn’t even register a little bit – I am just tired of having my legs spread all night long.

.. and day 3562 of pandering to lurid curiosity is a wrap!



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