i am drowning
there is no sign of land
you are coming down with me
hand in unlovable hand

Okay, maybe that’s a little dire – I’m not planning on taking you with me, and I don’t feel your hands are all that unlovable – I’m just SO FRUSTRATED I NEED TO SCREAM (and/or sing Mountain Goats songs until I’m hoarse and sobbing).

I’m building an intranet for my company, using Sharepoint 2010. With the exception of the two-day course I took on Sharepoint 2010 and my ability to write words on the internet, I have absolutely no experience or skill or talent with intranet building in any way. I am so over my head I feel like I’m drowning and therefore ruining food court tacos for millions across the land. I’ve spent the last two days wading through XML, CSS and Javascript; three things I am wholly unprepared to wade in. All I want to do is change a fucking font size, but is it an easy thing to do? Of course not. To change the font size of a pre-built SP item, you need to somehow unpack the .THMX file, extract the CSS that dictates font sizes, rewrite it, pack it all back up, and trick the system into thinking it’s the original file. WHAT THE HELL, MICROSOFT? NOT EVERYONE WANTS TO READ PAGE AFTER PAGE OF CONTENT IN 8PT VERDANA!

I am frustrated and annoyed that I can’t do this. I hate feeling completely lost; knowing that I am woefully lacking in the knowledge needed to do the things I want to do. I feel dumb and angsty, and my toes are cold. I AM A SAD KIMLI, AND I HATE SHAREPOINT SO HARD I COULD JUST POOP.

In other news, we paid our deposit: we’re going to Cuba in May. Perhaps I will defect – I bet they don’t have Sharepoint down there, and I could learn to like rum.