what a deal!

My spam filter must be asleep, but I’m okay with that because this wouldn’t have made it through otherwise:

Sale!
1. Heroin, in liquid and crystal form.
2. Rocket fuel and Tomohawk rockets (serious enquiries only).
4. New shipment of cocaine has arrived, buy 9 grams and get 10th for free.

Everyone is welcome, but not US citizens.

ATTENTION. Clearance offer. Buy 30 grams of heroin, get 5 free.

Prices upon reqeust.

WOW! What a deal! I’d be a fool not to stock up now! If any US citizens want in on the deal, we can work together and place a bulk order!

blow sparkles, right?

i love yew

I can barely walk and I won’t eat again for a week, but that was the most decadent Tuesday night I’ve ever had.

Shan and I were among the lucky Yelp Elite to be invited to attend a chic soirée (for real) at YEW restaurant and bar in the Four Seasons Hotel. It was the second of two nights; instead of having one massive and crowded party they wisely and excellently threw two small parties which meant people had room to mingle, chat with YEW staff, and gorge themselves on some of the most incredible food I’ve ever had the privilege of trying. The entire evening was a blast – Yelp’s Community Manager Cyndi is adorable beyond belief (as is her sister), Shan and I lucked into the same party as some of my favourite people, and I got to play with power tools – there’s little more I need to ensure an incredible time, and thus a memorable Tuesday was born.

YEW really pulled out all the stops to ensure we were a well-fed and well-watered bunch. The wine flowed non-stop, and the bartender served up some wicked Negronis to all who dared. Molson was on hand as well, debuting their new Molson M (some sort of microcarbonated beer – near as I can tell, this means it has tiny bubbles) Lager. Me, I drank water. Even if the booze is free, I’m afraid of it – but what I didn’t ingest in alcohol, I more than made up for in food.

mac n' cheese done all fancy

Oh, the food. YEW served up plate after plate of incredible goodies – I officially stopped eating at least four times, but was easily convinced to try the new delicacy coming my way. Among the highlights of the tasty things YEW had in store for us:

  • Lobster Mango Rolls
  • Gourmet Mac n’ Cheese
  • This absolutely incredible gnocchi dish served with fancy bacon and truffles
  • Freshly shucked oysters
  • Some of the best mushroom soup I’ve ever tasted

The food was amazing. Have I mentioned that yet? It was clearly prepared with love and deliciousness, and I truly enjoyed myself – and I haven’t even mentioned the desserts yet.

mango ravioli: tastier than you

The lighted dessert bar was the first thing that caught my eye when we walked into the room, mostly because it was shiny and pretty. I went over to see what was up and found that in addition to looking good, the table was groaning with YEW’s legendary dessert tapas: small portions of transcendental sweets allowing you to choose your own flavour explosions. I’m pretty sure I had more dessert than savoury food, but can you blame me when faced with:

  • The above-pictured Mango Ravioli, served floating in a sea of honest-to-god Delicious Juice
  • Chocolate caramel truffle lollipops
  • Strawberry compote on whipped white chocolate ganache with coconut meringue
  • And the surprise favourite, the espresso caramel pot de crème

truffle lolli!

espresso caramel

So much fun. Jeff Hanson spoke with almost every person at the party and talked about his restaurant, which he is clearly – and rightfully – proud of. It was a brilliant evening, and I feel incredibly lucky to have been included – YEW is a beautiful place with fantastic staff (and Joel the Waiter deserves a special shout-out for his smooth-talking ways that had me eating far more than I should have but enjoying every minute), and I’m planning to visit again with Ed in tow very soon.

I’m still full, but I’d give my left arm for more mango ravioli in delicious juice.

oysters were here