I am not a practicing religionite, but I understand today is a Big Day in Western Christiness – it is Lent. Lent is when you give up things because your life is too awesome and that makes Jeeves sad because he is just a butler yet you have so much, so you stop being happy for a while and this makes your butler rise from the grave and feed everyone tuna sandwiches and chocolate eggs. I do not understand religiosity, but I am always respectful of forced suffering in the name of the Holly Father all the way up there in the mistletoe, so here is a list of things you could consider giving up for Lents:

• Lactose intolerance
• Tetris
• Traffic jams
• Orkut
• Diaper play
• Moisturizer
• Voice mail
• 17th century prostitution
• Full-frontal espionage

These are just examples, mind you – there are so many things you could give up for Lant to make Jeeves feel better about his indentured servitude and also your plan to crucify him so he can return from the dead with sandwiches and brightly coloured eggs. Also, it’s Mardi Gras. Show me your tits.