As far as being humble goes, I really have no need for it. I’m awesome, and damn anyone who thinks otherwise. Yes, I truly enjoy being Kimli – it’s intensely amusing to be me, and I can only assume it’s just as great for those of you who get to be around me. I’m pretty perfect, actually. Completely fantastic in every way.
Except .. sometimes (like, twice in the last 30 years) I wish I was just a little less impetuous. Not much, mind you – just a little. A sliver. A speck. A tiny iota of being less hasty; the smallest modicum of prudence in my otherwise flawless presence. This would be a good thing, and could only serve to make me even more awesome than I am right now – and who wouldn’t want that? I’d get to be more awesome, and you would get to bask in the warm glow of all that is Kimli. It’s win win!
After brilliance struck with my parking idea on Monday, I immediately leapt into action: I signed up for a monthly parking pass, handed over my credit card and banking information, and canceled my current pass. It wasn’t until after I had done all this legwork that I came up for air and had a thought – was this something I could actually even do? Paying over $200/m for the option of parking the car if I didn’t want to scoot in to work was pretty dumb, so the only thing that would make this plan feasible would be the ability to park a second bike with my scooter for the same price. It’s a reasonable request – our two bikes take up less room than one car, and they’d generate a lot of goodwill and warm fuzzy feelings. They’d never turn that down, right? Of course I’d be able to do this! What a fantastic idea I had!
As it turns out, some places just don’t care about goodwill and warm fuzzy feelings (or turning down the harmless request of someone who will use the power of the internet to voice her displeasure in a witty, informative way). According to Metro Parking, it doesn’t matter if FIVE bikes can fit into one spot – they won’t allow multiple rides to share.
So, that’s that. I now have to jump through a thousand hoops to cancel the parking pass I signed up for with Metro, get a refund for the $68 they already charged me in signup fees, and monitor my accounts to make sure they don’t attempt to charge me for the parking I won’t be doing come May 1st. I also need to contact my current parking people to beg forgiveness and plead temporary insanity, and hope they’ll let me cancel the cancellation I sent in on Monday morning. So much backtracking; all of which could have been avoided if I had just been a tiny bit more prudent instead of jumping in blindly with my tits a-jigglin’.
I have excellent intentions, and most of the time my snap decisions to change the world work out just fine. Every once in a while though, it comes back to bite me in the ass. Like today. Ow, my ass.
Other than that, I’m pretty much perfect.