16 | June | 2011 | delicious juice dot com

I’m honest enough with myself to know that, deep down, I’m cuckoo for Cocoa Puffs and also karmic retribution. Vengeance isn’t a pretty trait, but sometimes it’s just so satisfying that I shiver with flavour and tiny little orgaslettes. Like now! Facebook pages fade away, but I have over ten years of content online and meticulously groomed and I never, ever forget!

I figure we could all use some good news, so here:

photo credit: unknown

This fine young gentleman is Jason Li of Richmond BC. There are numerous claims that he was actually a hero and was trying to stop the destruction, but many videos prove otherwise and show him breaking the window of the BMO downtown. Jason attends – or possibly attended, as there are rumours that he was expelled at the instant of his arrest – McRoberts Secondary. In addition to being an Air Cadet, he is also an amateur actor:

He was caught this afternoon at school, where he shall live on in infamy:

from the McRoberts Secondary page on Wikipedia

Good work, everyone.

But that’s not all!

photo credit: unknown

Meet Nathan Kotylak from Maple Ridge, BC! Nathan, while not lighting cop cars on fire in downtown Vancouver, is a star water polo player who attends the University of Calgary on a scholarship. He’s the son of a doctor, and an Olympic hopeful. Here’s what he looks like when he isn’t committing cowardly acts of destruction in my city:

This photo, and the accompanying article, appeared in newspapers all over the Lower Mainland less than two months ago. How far Nathan has come since then!

photo credit: unknown

This is Brydon Harker, who attends Delta Secondary. Brydon would like you to please not judge him for his actions, because the window was already broken and he just made a “drunk mistake”. I’m sure we can all forgive him, right? After all, boys will be boys!

There are HUNDREDS of these. I could go on all night. I want these people to be forever tied to their actions last night; for their names to be known by everyone who loves this city – Vancouver, where NONE OF THESE PEOPLE ARE FROM – and to be made to pay for their crimes. And they will. And I am just human enough to know that the thought of their humiliation for years to come makes me REALLY, REALLY HAPPY.

I’m sure you’ll forgive my vengeful fantasies – it’s just a drunk mistake!

Until last night, I had no idea that a “riot act” was a real thing. I thought it was a figure of speech – you know, “my mom read me the riot act when I got home late last night” – but thanks to last night’s breakdown of society, I know otherwise. I do not feel good about this knowledge.

Let’s get something straight here: last night’s riot in Vancouver was NOT done by the fans; nor was it because we lost the game. The internet is full of people crowing that we take hockey so seriously that we’d destroy the city after a loss – the game had nothing to do with the riot. It was a group of drunken dick douches with too much testosterone, not enough brains, and more than likely an organized attempt to incite chaos; something that was gleefully picked up by those you see destroying property and looting. These people aren’t hockey fans, and they’re not Vancouverites – they’re opportunists. They’re cowards. They’re carpetbaggers; drunken hooligans and pathetic anarchists taking advantage of mob mentality.

And, thanks to social media and the childish need to brag, they’re all going to be caught.

Vancouver is not a city of rioters. We are not drunken idiots who destroy property, steal from others, brawl in the streets. Those who participated in last night’s riot do not represent the whole of the city, the true fans of the Canucks, or anything other than a small, disgusting sliver of society.

Real Vancouverites are proud of the Canucks, regardless of last night’s game. Real Vancouverites cheered on their team, congratulated Boston for their win, and went home. They’re outside right now, helping the city clean up yesterday’s mess. They’re identifying people caught on film so the police can track down and punish. Last night was NOT an example of Vancouver – what you see in the hours, days, weeks to come will be the true display of what our city can do.

Don’t blame the actions of a select few on the entire city. We love our home, and we’re doing what we can to help.

Also, sometimes real Vancouverites try to inject a little humour into a horrible situation (with LEGO):

hello kitty is looting an umbrella from london drugs

I am not ashamed to say I live in Vancouver because Vancouver did not riot last night. Brock Anton, Kiela Hunter, Billy Chickite, Jordy Dean, MJ Calinisan – whose Facebook Groups include Christianity, saying “I <3 Jesus :)”, Mandeep Dhaliwal, and so many more – THEY were the ones who rioted.

Get them.