sneak peek

Posted in everyday kimli by kimli

I figured if I whined, I’d get my way – but I didn’t whine hard enough, and as such I got only one of my whore coins in the mail today. I can’t quite open my brothel yet, but here’s a sneak peek of how it’ll go:

whore and coins not to scale

I plan to have a FULL SERVICE brothel – as you can see, my customers (whom I imagine will all be dapper pilots from WWI) can choose from an assortment of lovely concubines to relieve their filthy carnal urges: tennis players, hula girls, winking sailors, cyborgs, figure skaters, small men with large beards, cross-dressing musketeers, and a pantless Justin Bieber wearing lipstick and a lei. There are Frankensteins too, but those are security guards. Please do not attempt to have sex with the Frankensteins.

My brothel is gonna be SO AWESOME.

27Jul2011

grand opening delayed

Posted in everyday kimli by kimli

Earlier this month I ordered the missing piece for my latest project, and I am endlessly frustrated that it hasn’t arrived yet. My missing shipment is causing a lot of little problems, all of which can be boiled down into one great big problem: my brothel can’t open.

I have decided that I have always longed for my very own Old West-style brothel, so clearly I should go about setting one up already. It shouldn’t be too difficult; all I really need is a player piano, some whiskey, and a lot of crinoline. I have these things – really, who doesn’t – so all I needed was a way to accept money for sexual favours. Reinventing the wheel is such a hassle and I have many better things to do (all of which involve learning how to shoot a dainty pearl-handled six shooter that I keep in my garter), so I thought that I would just fall back on the old standard: the cat house token system. Ladies and gentlemen of all sorts can sidle up to the bar, pay the coyly-named fee for services, and receive a token that they can then give to the girl of their choosing in exchange for carnal delights. This is an excellent plan that can only be wildly successful, but until my damn shipment arrives, I HAVE NO SEX TOKENS. Without sex tokens, there can be no SEX. You see my problem here – what’s a poor fledgling madame to do?

looking for a good time? well, you can't have one yet.

Where are my whore house coins?!

27Jul2011

MY house

Posted in everyday kimli by kimli

Three people work in the Culturedome, and two of them are on vacation. I’m the only one here until at least Tuesday, so clearly I needed to seize control of the territory:

welcome to the kimlidome

With the help of router egg cartons, our shipper and an idea I borrowed from Ser Elliott of House Davie, I have declared this workspace my kingdom to rule with a tiny iron fist. My banner is flying, and all who enter the Kimlidome are subject to my whims and fancy. Beware! I am a fickle but hilarious ruler!