I passed my motorcycle road test! I am a fully licensed motorcycle rider, and only 7 years late! HOORAY! I AM LEGAL!

I am also SORE AS HELL! Because I got into an accident. Half an hour before my road test. I went boom!

I arrived at the test centre early so I could warm up on the loaner motorcycle (if I had tested on Lola, I’d only qualify for a restricted Class 6 license – scooters only). The weather has been typical April in Vancouver: raining steadily for the last two days or so. Roads are wet and slippery, but I did half my class in a friggin’ white out – I can deal with rain. Plus, rain gear! I have some now. I was (for once) dressed appropriately for the weather, so I was technically ready for everything .. except, as it turns out, gravity.

On my pre-ride I drove around a little, practicing my exaggerated shoulder checks and lane positions. For the first ten minutes, all was good .. but then I went downhill, and hit the brakes a little too hard. I locked up a tire, skidded on the wet road/crosswalk paint, and BOOM – down I went, on my left side. My leg was trapped under the bike, so I sat there for a bit waiting for someone to notice me (echoes of my dislocation accident, when I couldn’t actually get up because arm flopping). Several people rushed over to help, and lifted the bike up enough for me to extract my leg. I got up and made sure nothing was broken, and an awesome lady who stopped to help walked the motorcycle over to the curb for me and put the kickstand up (she was a fellow rider and knew what to do while I stood around being wet and stupid). An older gentleman wanted to call an ambulance, but a) I had a road test in 20 minutes and b) I was fine, if banged up a little. I convinced everyone I was okay and thanked them profusely for their assistance, then dealt with the poor loaner bike I had dropped – the engine had flooded and I broke the left turn signal, but it was drivable. I had a sheepish ride back to the test centre and just enough time to tell my instructor what happened (and arrange to use a different bike) before I had to go inside and get my paperwork done: it was test time.

Because my life is a ridiculous opera of comedic bad timing, the rain started coming down harder. I checked in and paid my $50, then used my waiting time to meditate past the spill – I HAD to get this test done today, and I had to knock it out of the park, because complicated deadlines are looming. I thankfully managed to find some sort of zen, and then it was time to ride.

I am eternally grateful for the practice test I ran through with ProRide the evening before, meaning that none of today was a surprise to me (except for the whole “falling down” thing. that was unexpected.). I wore a stylish reflective vest with a radio attached to it, and a car would follow me while the tester gave me instructions. There were a few hiccups – we got separated on the highway, so all my excellent lane changing and merging skills were not reviewed. I eventually had to pull over and let the van catch up so they could continue assessing my mad skillz, and the test continued. Turn left. Turn right. Do a u-turn. Change lanes. Do a little dance. Make a little love. Get down tonight. Woo!

45 minutes later, we returned to ICBC. I was a little worried that I had failed because of a few slip ups (non-exaggerated shoulder checks and that whole “getting separated” thing), but after pointing out a couple things I did wrong, he gave me the verdict: I PASSED! HOORAY! I paid an additional $75 (my license needed renewing, not just upgrading) and got my picture taken while soaking wet and dripping mascara. I don’t get my new license yet though – apparently I need to do another interview to prove I don’t have an evil twin because my license is Enhanced (ooh fancy) – but after that, I’m golden. With a full class 56. I PASSED MY TEST!

AND I DID IT WHILE TOTALLY SICK! Seriously, fuck this cold/flu thing. I’m going to go lie down and hope the room stops spinning, and then maybe check my new bruises out. I’m a total wreck (no pun intended), but I officially don’t EVER have to ride a motorcycle again if I don’t want to. YAY ME!

.. owwwww.

i can ride you legally!