Monthly Archives: January 2007

herpes of the vertigo

Posted in medical anomaly by

I am several kinds of sick:

  1. I am on the verge of throwing up, all the time. That funny look on my face? I’m not just happy to see you; I’m trying to think of a polite way to throw up in your general direction without making it seem intentional.
  2. I did something very, very bad to my back. Ed attributes my aches and pains to my avian bird sars, but this pain is very centralized and very, very bad. Whenever it twinges and makes with the hurtie, I want to throw up even more.

Actually, that’s it. I suppose two doesn’t really count as several, but the constant nausea is really putting a damper on my plans to NOT spend the day covered in vomit and curled up in a ball on the floor. I’m sure it would be a lot more exotic and newsworthy if I were a fancy socialite club kid instead of just a very ill astronaut who can’t keep anything down. This sucks. I hate throwing up.

In other news, I had a huge laugh today when I checked the forecast at Environment Canada – they made a huge mistake on the site! Since I am totally the kind of person who points out other people’s errors and laughs, I took a screenshot to show the internet:

 

LOLz! Do you see it? They misspelled “constant, never-ending rain” as “sunny”! Boy, are their faces red and/or covered with egg! They must have gone to the Fergie School of Spelling! Hah! Oh, the funny!

 

seven days older and deeper in debt

Posted in medical anomaly by

I look 7 days older than I did last night.

A long time ago, I either read or someone told me that for every night you sleep with your makeup on, you age one week. It didn’t make much sense, but it obviously stuck with me and every time I inadvertently go to bed with makeup on, I think my face has aged seven days.

I’ve had a headache since Sunday evening, and last night what was left of my brains exploded in a gooey mess that dripped out my nether regions. I fell asleep around 7pm (in my makeup) and awoke this morning long enough to swallow two extra-strength brain-solidifying pills and hammer out a quick email to work before passing out again. I forced myself out of bed at 2, but I am wobbly and dizzy and rather slow on the uptake – AND I look a week older than I did yesterday. Today sucks.

I forgot to link these earlier, but I smuggled my super awesome lovely new camera into the Rise Against show last Friday and got some crazy good pics. Check out the gallery – the first bunch are Anti-Flag, the second is Rise Against, and the third is Billy Talent, with some pictures of us and some girl’s ass mixed in between. Enjoy!

Oh, my head.

wouldja like to take a survey

Posted in everyday kimli by

Calling all bloggers: go forth and answer yonder survey, for Darren Barefoot hath spoken. You could win a prize, and who doesn’t like prizes? Communists, that’s who.

Seriously, though. It’s for a study on bloggers and why we do those things we do, and Darren is a mighty word warrior so you should help him out. Thanks!

stigmata regatta

Posted in medical anomaly by

I burned the palms of both my hands yesterday.

I was feeling sort of domestic, so I decided to make some ham and cheese muffins. I preheated the oven, shredded some cheese, sliced some ham, and mixed up some batter. Once I had the muffin tins full, it was time to get a-bakin’! This is where I ran into my first problem – my oven is made for tiny. We actually have cute little half-size appliances, which means I can’t store or bake any large items. Two tins of muffin goo were not going to fit in the oven under any circumstances, so I decided to rearrange the racks and monitor the baking process. I put on my silicone half-gloves, grabbed the rack, and .. *sizzle*.

It should be pointed out that I am so awesome that I put the loaded muffin tins ON the rack before I tried to move them. I would have been fine with an empty rack, but the added weight of the muffin tray meant my finger-grip on the rack was dubious – this led to some crazy teetering, which I opted to correct with my unprotected lower hand area.

It HURTS. Burning the palms of your hand is entirely not endorsed by Delicious Juice Dot Com – all those nerve endings made for some wicked pain. I iced and soaked and whimpered for the better part of an hour, at which point I woke Ed up from his snoring and made him tend to my wounds. Extra strength drugs, ointments and gauze made it feel a little better, but overall it was not the best time I had ever had. More scars for my collection! Hooray!

I think I am coming down with something. Booooo at all my diseases and injuries.

urge to kill, rising

Posted in everyday kimli by

This might be a wee bit unreasonable – remember, I said might – but the sound of other people snoring makes me fly into a near-murderous rage.

Surely it’d be easier for them to stop pissing me off rather than my just tuning it out, right?

I’m going to go pummel Ed until he stops snoring now.

we are punk rawk

Posted in everyday kimli by

What an exhausting (but fun) weekend.

On Friday night, Josh Shan Ed and I went to the Billy Talent/Rise Against show at the PNE. Shan had bought us all tickets as an utterly insane Christmas gift, and we were all excited to see what is probably our collective favourite band (Rise Against) and to see a band we had heard were amazing live (Billy Talent), as well as getting in some good old-fashioned anti-establishment-themed punk rock action (Anti-Flag). We had assigned seating, but Ed has Connections and we were able to go down onto the floor to watch the show. I got some amazing pictures of the three bands (I love you, punk rock Tim) and the show was a blast of fun. I laughed so hard I cried on about four different occasions, and the hilarity continued at our post-punk-rawk trip to Dennys. Friday night was a night of awesome. Thanks, Shan! :D

We had a late night, but bravely decided to solider on with our Saturday plans – getting up early and driving south for Mexican food, shopping, and visits. Josh and Shan wanted new snowboarding gear, so we made a day of it – crossed the border, introduced Shan to Target, went to our favourite Mexican restaurant, spent the evening shopping at the factory outlets just outside Seattle, then popped in to say hello to Doug and Ali before driving back the same night. We got home just before 2am, utterly exhausted but quite content with the 36 hours of Good Times we had. The shopping was mostly for Josh and Shan; I didn’t really need anything but couldn’t resist the pin-striped Converse I’d been ogling since our last visit because I am so totally punk rawk in a corporate sort of way.

Today is for nothing, and I can’t wait.

doesn’t play well with others

Posted in fuuuuuuuu, i'm an astronaut by

Oh, my *head*.

In outer space, we work with a number of other astronauts who provide services that enable our space station to run all tickity-boo. These 3rd party astronauts do everything from delivering us new space-coffee on a weekly basis to upgrading our warp core drives. We all work in a harmony largely created by paying our space invoices on time. It’s a gentle existence, and it works well for us.

Except.

Two of our astro-vendors who previously merged to form FONEZAR – they handled phone lines and our voice mail system, respectively – are now fighting. They don’t like each other. They refuse to work together. In the case of the voice mail lady, she refuses to work on any project she was previously associated with because of phone guy.

Excuse me?

I called her up for some help this morning, only to be told that she will not help me because she no longer works with phone guy. It’s not that she can’t help me – she just won’t. Doesn’t wanna. It’s not her problem anymore. Ask phone guy. It doesn’t matter that he is the phone guy and not the voice mail guy and truly does not know a single damn thing about the voice mail system; our contract came from him and therefore she doesn’t have to help us anymore because she doesn’t like him.

Who knew they let 4 year olds into space?

My head is going to explode at the idiocy of this entire situation. I don’t NEED this crap; I have a universe to save.

In other news, I am officially announcing my intention to graduate high school in 2007. Now that my Secret Shame is not much secret as it is public knowledge, it’s time to rectify the situation once and for all. Details to come, followed by a graduation party – in fact, the only reason I’m doing this at all is so I can have a party. Officially finishing high school after 15 years of lies and deception is as good a reason as any to get presents, right? Go go class of 2007! Whoooooop!

I need rich parents to buy me a convertible when I graduate. Isn’t that what usually happens?

uncontrollable menses

Posted in fuuuuuuuu by

Hey, Kimli! You’re exactly four hours away from the start of your period and wearing white underwear with light coloured pants, and have completely forgotten to bring any sort of feminine protection to work with you! What are you going to do?

I’m going to go to Disneyland to bleed all over the damn unicorns, that’s what.

The bloat has made me crankier than usual, and being nitpicked at work is not helping. I am not six. I do not need my every move checked up on. Additional ass marbles are not a gift with purchase.

Could someone please explain to me why all my recent dreams have been sex dreams, and why these dreams are flavoured by my conversations throughout the day? Last night everyone in my dream had a Russian accent. It was kind of hot, until I came into the office and realized that the people I had naked dreams about are the people I work with. That is just wrong and very disturbing.

Thanks for playing along and de-leurking yesterday! For those that didn’t, there’s still time – say hello! Fame and fortune can be yours!

I need some new tattoos. Anyone want to get inked with me? Bobbie, don’t we have a date? It’s a stress-reliever, I promise!

Okay, working now.

come on out of the e-closet

Posted in everyday kimli by

The internet tells me that it’s National De-Leurking Week. I always do as the internet bids, so I’m officially pleading for some love. Leave a comment! Let me know you’re out there! Tell me where you live on the internet so I may return the stalking favour!

I’m having an inordinately angsty Wednesday, so I could really use something to distract me from my bones. Nothing is particularly *wrong* .. I’m just tired and sore all over, and jealous that Josh was able to get a Wii before we did.

So, say hi. Please? I don’t bite unless you ask me to!

my underwear thinks i’m cool

Posted in everyday kimli by

While I violently steer away from wearing any sort of pant that features writing on the ass (for that matter, I steer away from wearing any sort of pant, period), I am not above buying and gleefully wearing underwear with things scrawled across the bottom. Today, my ass states (quite correctly) that I am POPULAR!, with stars and a flourish and also a marching band (my ass is large, ok). It’s not so much the message that I want to get across but the comfort factor – for some reason, underwear with ridiculous things on it is the most comfortable. I have a pair that says SUPERSTAR, two that declare my ass to be SIN CITY, and more than a few that trumpet my JUICY-ness out to the world. Ass writing is funny, as long as it’s hidden and/or avant-garde.

Amélie the Office Pug continues to be utterly adorable and completely unfair. She spent the morning whimpering and making eyes at me while trying to get on my desk, where I have a stash of her favourite treats (baby carrots). I’m not above trying to bribe the dog into loving me, but in the end it’s all moot since she doesn’t belong to me. Repeated exposure to the pug is doing little to ease my pug lust; it’s making me all that much more desperate for a wiggly dog of my very own to love and adore. I want a pug. Pug pug pug pug pug.

Monday night is not a good night for laundry. All the creepy crazies were at the Laundromat last night, and they all smelled bad. Fresh cigarette smoke billowing atop stale cigarette smoke is probably the most disgusting thing in the world, and all the dollar store laundry detergent is not going to help your cause – eww. Just go away.

Holy shit, am I ever cold.