Delicious Juice Dot Com will return after these messages, by which I mean tomorrow morning. I hope you’ve enjoyed this week of non-updates; I promise to return to my two-armed wordy self starting tomorrow or else.

I’ve missed you, internet!

Some random Tuesday morning thoughts that didn’t make it into the morning update:

• God hates me, a fact that was confirmed by a perfect stranger. We spent last last Saturday out and about the town, and ended up on the beach where there were dogs a-plenty. Since I still don’t have a pug, I asked Ed (as I do 4 times a day), “Why don’t I have a pug yet?”

Ed: “Because God hates you.”

Random Stranger walking by, laughing: “He does, too!”

Hmpf.

• I need idea for a thank-you gift. Our space station is moving at the end of this month, and I’d like to get a little something for the daytime employees at the 7-11 across the street. Since I started working here last March, I’ve been in the 7-11 at least a once a day five days a week to use their ice machine. Sometimes I buy Diet Coke or a snack, but most of the time I don’t – I just want ice. They’ve been more than accepting of the weird ice girl who usually brings her own cup but is okay with paying for one if she didn’t and regardless of the weather outside always seems to need a giant cup full of ice. In fact, on the days I’m NOT there, they ask where I’ve been because they’re just that used to my ice-stealing ways. Since we’re moving out of the neighbourhood (and, I’m told, getting a new fridge with an ice maker in it), I want to say thank you for all the ice I’ve stolen from them over the course of the last 14 months. What says “so long, and thanks for all the ice”? They’re a 7-11, so out of the question are things like generic chocolate bars, gummy candy, discount sushi, or hot dogs. Are flowers a good generic group thank you? Booze? A stripper wearing tassels that say “THANK” and “YOU”, respectively? Help me out, here. I need ideas.

• My uterus has a truly horrible sense of humour – my period is 5 days early. It’s not enough that I’m broken and wounded and I can’t wipe my butt if I wanted to – now I get to figure out how to work tampons with my wrong hand. This should be totally awesome and in no way hilarious in that incredibly uncomfortable way, like the locker room scene in Carrie.

Plug it up, indeed.

Operation: Laziest Sunday Ever is going as planned; I have yet to leave the bed except to pee and to fetch the internet.

It’s more than my desire to emulate the noble sloth that keeps me in bed today. Following my standard MO after a hospital visit, I’ve completely over-exerted myself this weekend and am trying to regain some of my mobility before I have to face the real world tomorrow morning. I’m really, really bad at following orders – I was told to “take it easy”, and yet this is the first time since my stint in the ER that I’ve really spent any time resting. I’m not very bright, but gosh DARN it I’m cute.

Friday was a holiday here, so we spent the day running some errands and going to the beach for a walk. It was warm but overcast, and we had some fun taking pictures and walking along the sand. I found treasure! I’m too lazy (and don’t have enough mobility in my right arm) to link to the pictures directly, but scroll down to my Flickr stream and have a looksee. It’s a ring! I have a bad habit of looking at the ground when I walk, mostly because I am incredibly clumsy and am looking for things that might trip me up but also because I am shy. On the beach though, it was entirely because I was terrified I’d trip on sand and take another header – so I walked looking down. I found some pretty rocks and shell fragments, and then .. hey, a ring. I picked it up – it had been in the sand/water for a LONG time; I found it near the water when the tide was out and it had sand and rocks embedded in it. I showed the gang, who thought it was costume jewellery until I turned it over and saw the 14K stamp on the inside of the ring. Hee! Treasure! Looking down is awesome. I cleaned it up when we got home and took some pictures. I looked online for any lost ring posts, but nothing – it had been there for a while, and who knows where it was originally lost. I might get it appraised, because while pretty it’s not really my style – it’d be interesting at the very least to see what it’s worth. Treasure is awesome.

I spent Saturday morning cleaning, until Ed got up to help me. I wasn’t doing a very good job cleaning – in fact, I made more of a mess than when I started – but we managed to get the house in a livable state again. The afternoon took us outside – Bobbie was in town! We watched her get a tattoo, and I got an impromptu piercing. The original plan was for me to get inked as well, but we were short on time and I was short on free arms, so I was there for moral support. The piercing was spur of the moment – I just closed up a hole on my face and I wanted to celebrate my dislocated shoulder, so hey let’s get pierced. I’ve wanted a labret for a long time; since about 2000 – so I got one. It feels a little weird but looks neat, I think. I’ll take pictures later when I’m a little more presentable.

After tattoos and face holes, the group of 9 of us went to Lonsdale Quay for dinner at this little Asian Fusion place that I forget the name of but is now my very favourite place to eat. The food was unreal and cheap and soooooo good – we all ate ourselves stupid, then descended upon Starbucks for caffeine. At this point I was hurting pretty bad, so we bid Bobbie and her crew good night and stumbled back to our place at the oh-so late hour of 10pm – we are really lame but I am wounded so it’s okay.

And that brings us to Sunday. I am in bed, Ed is watching some sort of manly sports, and Sasha is alternating between sneaking on to my lap, eating things she shouldn’t be eating, and growling at the other cats. All is good. My arm hurts, my face hurts, and Ed is about to peel me a potato. This is totally the life.