Monthly Archives: June 2007

bye bye sally

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I no longer have a scooter.

Sally is gone – yesterday at 5pm, I handed her keys over to someone else and slowly walked away.

This sucks.

However.

I sold her to Reilly, who promises to take excellent care of her. He is now officially a Jerk with a Camera and a Scooter, which is about a million times cooler.

Also, by the end of the day, I should have a brand new scooter – a Yamaha Vino 125 that boasts 124ccs to Sally’s 49. I will be both fast AND furious, albeit with an enormous grin on my round, garish face.

Everything happened so fast that my head is still spinning. Over beers on Sunday evening I mentioned that eventually I wanted to upgrade my scooter and I’d probably be selling Sally at that time. By Monday, Reilly had test-ridden Sally and had an envelope full of money for me – all that was left was for me to take it, and figure out what I wanted to do with my life (besides the obvious “I wanna rock”).

Back at the Space Station on Tuesday, I made many frantic phone calls. The Yamaha dealership on Hastings was more than happy to help me out (unlike the North Shore Yamaha, who told me a) scooters were dumb, b) I really wanted a motorcycle, c) getting scooters in stock to sell was a pain in the ass and d) they weren’t getting any more scooters at all). I went to the dealership yesterday afternoon, filled out some paperwork, and as long as Toronto gives the thumbs up this morning, they’ll be driving out to Middle of Nowhere BC and bringing back a brand new scooter that does not yet have a name. I am nervous and will be until I get the phone call – then I’ll be nervous until I actually get the scooter – then I’ll be nervous until I’m used to the new ride. Basically, I am a nervous wreck AND I miss Sally.

She does look gorgeous in her new home, though – look!

You served me well, Sally – may you treat your new owner as well as you treated me!

*sniffle*

snails do it when prompted

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I had an excellent birthday!

Ed woke me up with birthday cake, since I almost always complain that I never get cake on my birthday. To shut me up, he brought me my favourite kind of cake first thing in the morning and it was super tasty. We lounged around a bit, then went out to run various TOP SECRET ERRANDS. Back at the apartment, I took pictures of snails having sex (seriously, check out my Flickr page) and giggled like a little kid, sitting on the sidewalk to poke at the snails and take pictures and be generally very excited at the slimy things. What? I just turned 8, leave me alone.

Yesterday evening we had dinner out with many lovely people, then came back to our place for cake and Salad Fingers. It was a wonderful birthday – thanks, everyone! I got birthday cards and many well wishes and I practically basted myself in love. Plus? There were SNAILS. Real ones, and shiny ones. Ed is far too tolerant of his wife’s rather unusual quirks, and bought me a Swarovski crystal SNAIL for my birthday. She is truly awesome and sitting on my desk at home. Yay! SNAILS!

My birthday wasn’t all cake and mollusks, though. I have some very exciting and scary news that I don’t want to share just yet – the details will be worked out tonight, and then I will unleash the startling new development all over your faces. It is exciting. I am vibrating in my chair just thinking about it. No, I am not pregnant. It is also not a puppy, although that may be coming sooner than I had thought. Stay tuned!

Yay!

i has a birthday

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HELP! Ed woke me up with birthday cake this morning, and now it is trying to suffocate me with icing because I ate a slice of its body! AHHH! The Zombie Birthday Cake demands revenge!

I will escape in the shower, then go outside and play because around here, we do not work on our birthdays so Ed and I are going out present shopping. Yay!

It is the 169th day of the year! Happy birthday to me!

all wet

Posted in nerd, vroom vroom by

That was a distinctly unpleasant ride.

It had just started to rain when I left the house, but it didn’t look too bad so I bravely pressed on. In retrospect, it would have been an excellent idea to go back inside and a) put on a rain jacket and b) bring a change of pants – I am thoroughly soaked all over. I could practically feel the pity emanating from the cars that passed me on the road because I was a pretty pathetic site – more so than usual, that is.

Today’s craptastic weather effectively cancels our plan of a group scoot tomorrow. I am disappointed, but more that it’s going to be gloomy than anything else. We can scoot anytime this summer, and it will be Good Times. Instead, I think we may be making a trip over the border so we can go to my favourite Mexican restaurant and maybe take advantage of the excellent dollar to buy some electronics because obviously I need more toys.

Speaking of which, I just noticed that I left my DS at home today – NOW what the hell am I going to do at lunch or when I don’t want to answer any more stupid questions?

Today I feel grungy, and not at all in the good way from 1992.

smug but mobile

Posted in i'm an astronaut, vroom vroom by

I am broke.

But I have Sally back!

My scooter has been running really sluggish for a while, so I figured it was time for her annual check-up. I took her to the shop on Tuesday and picked her up this morning, all shiny and clean (on the inside only, since they didn’t have time to wash her) and running like an expensive kitten. The bill was $192+change, but she’s running a lot better and once I get her washed, everything will be just lovely. It has to be, because my birthday is in four days and I demand loveliness.

I may not get it, though. For my birthday weekend, the North Shore Hipster Squad is planning to rent scooters and ride around downtown and Stanley Park all day so Josh, Shan and Ed can have just a small taste of how awesome it is to be me. The weather doesn’t seem to want to cooperate, though – I’ve been keeping a sparkly eye on the forecast all week and it’s just getting more gloomy and wet as the week goes on. We have a backup plan, and I suppose we can rent scooters at any point during the summer, but STILL. It’s my BIRTHDAY (weekend). I want outdoor fun at low speeds! I want everyone to experience the joy of helmet head! I want to terrify the elderly and freak out the squares! I want to experience Japanese Quadrophenia! Oh please won’t you let me LIVE!

Ahem.

There is minor drama at the Space Station. I know, I’m shocked too – it’s usually so stable and logical here. This time though, the drama doesn’t really involve me. It seems that the VP of Space came in this morning at 9, and no one was here. He put little notes on everyone’s keyboards that said “9am” – a small reminder that we open at 9 so you should probably be here at 9 and not 9:15, or 9:50, or 10:20. I am not too concerned about it, since I told everyone yesterday that I was going to be a little late this morning after picking Sally up from the shop. I talked to the VP about it, and all is good. However, two other people who got the note walked in this morning at 9:40 and are now throwing princess fits – I stay LATE and work WEEKENDS and take the BUS and do MORE than anyone ELSE and MOAN and GROAN and oh shut the hell up. I am damn pleased that the “be here at 9am or I will kill you” brush is being applied to EVERYONE and not just me – remember, it was a big part of the Unpleasantness of April and one of the reasons they were going to send me out the airlock – that, plus the whole “unreliable” “naïve” “pushy” “hard to get along with” “too much green eye shadow” “constantly swearing” “dirty aura” “smells funny” crap. So, hah. I feel excellent about it all and not a little smug.

I also finally got a response to my outrageous vacation demands – and they were approved! I can take 5 days off in July, and I’ll be getting paid for them. Whee! Now I can visit the in-laws and help my mom move, without having to choose between paying rent and being a dutiful daughter/in law. I am pleased. Hooray for my pushiness!

kimli lulubelle wangzilla: fraudulent accountant

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I promised you a story, so here you go:

I’ve long since shared my shame of not graduating high school, and although I do have a college diploma, part of it is a sham as well.

In college, I found that being first in all my classes was pretty awesome. I sailed through my first term with a 97% average – the lowest mark on my collegiate report card was an A. I correctly assumed that I was pretty excellent, and continued about my post-secondary education with a sense of satisfaction and that thrill that comes from knowing you are kicking everyone’s ass and they kind of hate you for it.

Second term rolls around, and things are more of the same – I am awesome, my computer skills are not to be reckoned with, and my years of pre-internet online chatting enabled me to take my typing final exam on the first day of class and I finished the course with 105% (I got extra % because I am extra awesome). Everything is great. I am bursting with confidence and sass. I was ready to take over the world, and nothing could stop my awesome Office Administration Power!!!11one.

Then my Accounting class started.

Continue reading →

curse you, nap beast

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Curses! I had a bit of a headache when I got home from work – something about office politics being a fucking parasite on my brain – so I went to relax for a little bit.

Unfortunately, I relaxed a little too hard and woke up three hours later – sure, completely refreshed, but having wasted my entire evening with the devious Nap Beast. Now I’m frantically running around trying to do everything I meant to do this evening, as well as eat something more vitamin-complex than peanut butter licked off a spoon.

busy as an angry bee

Posted in i'm an astronaut, vroom vroom by

I almost got sideswiped by a Mercedes SUV on my way to work today. I could go on and on about how I hate SUVs and needlessly expensive cars and idiots who don’t watch the road, thinking nothing of coming within a bumper’s width of taking someone else out – but I think I’ve said it all before. I hope he enjoyed my horn. I certainly enjoyed my near-SUV experience.

I’m endlessly busy – I owe you one real update that does not involve me hurting myself in any way, okay?

I fucking hate office politics.