My brain is melting.

I’ve been working from home for almost three weeks now. I enjoy it for the most part – the air is much less icy here than it was in space – but I find I get a little lonely sometimes. To combat this, I keep the TV on. I can enjoy the previous night’s Daily Show and Colbert Report first thing in the morning and some lovely crime TV in the afternoon, but the in between is making me stupider by the minute. I’m sure there’s something I could leave the TV tuned to that ISN’T Much Music, but extremely old habits die hard. There’s some truly awful music out there. It almost makes me appreciate being past all that.

I finally got a decent desk chair last night, as well as a small workstation the perfect size for my MacBook. I have a pretty good setup here, and it’s pretty comfortable. It doesn’t help that it’s beautiful outside, though. I think I need to move my desk away from the window so I stop having fantasies about running away and scooting to San Francisco.

Hey, why don’t you LOOK AT MY SNAILS !! Scroll down to the bottom for the newest pictures, from yesterday – they’re kind of amazing.

I took a break and spent close to an hour outside, taking pictures of snails. While out there, I came across the tiniest snail I have ever seen:

It is so, so small!

But HOW small, exactly?

Oh, about this small.

SQUEEE! SO IMPOSSIBLY SMALL AND CUTE !!!! I had a hard time putting it down; I wanted to hover over it to make sure it would be okay in the garden. OH, it was so cute. It was so young the shell was translucent! Adorable, tiny, baby, almost-naked snail! YAY!

I am not weird.

It’s absolutely true – I did not expect the Spanish Inquisition.

I was elbow-deep in FAQs and cats when the apartment buzzer rang. I answered it and said hello, but I didn’t get a response – all I could hear was static and Spanish chatter. I assumed they were looking for our drum circle-loving neighbour, as he and his friends speak Spanish at great volumes all the time. I hung up the receiver and went to look out our secret doorstep viewing window – no one was there, so I headed back to my exciting documentation without a second thought.

Then there was a knock at my door. I looked out the peephole and saw a trio of people; two men in pseudo suits and a small girl. The guys looked like Mormons; they were wearing the black pants and short sleeved white dress shirt ensemble. I was busy scanning for the obligatory Latter-day Saint nametag when they knocked again. I wasn’t about to answer the door – I’m naked, naturally – so I treated it like a phone call.

Hello?
Hello! (pretend all this is in a heavy Spanish accent)
*knock knock*
Hello?
Yes, hello!
.. can I help you?
Yes we are looking for the Guillermo family?
Um, they don’t live here
Are you sure?
Yes, I’ve lived here for over a year.
Perhaps they moved?
Probably; they’re not here.
Do you know where they are?
No, sorry.
You don’t know where we can find them?
No, sorry.
Okay, you have a good day!

Wacky. Wonder what they wanted. Did I miss out on being saved, Spanish style?

My left eye has been bugging me non-stop. I really hope it’s psychosomatic, but I am terrified that there are bug eggs hatching all up in my eye goo. Surprisingly, there is not a lot of information on the internet about what to do when a bug goes in your eye or how to tell if you have eggs in there. I am contemplating microwaving my eye somehow to kill anything that might be planning on eating its way out. This sucks ass, and is horrifying.

The more I work from home, the more perks I discover. There are the obvious perks – working naked, rolling out of bed and stumbling to your computer, taking breaks to play with the cats – but I’ve been enjoying some other things as well. Deciding what to have for lunch each day is no longer a chore; we usually have food in the house and if not I can zip out to grab something in the neighbourhood. There’s always Diet Coke and ice here, too. I can listen to anything I like at any volume; I don’t have to answer the phone or deal with other people’s quirks; the atmosphere is a good deal less chilly here than it is at the Space Station. Each day is a new adventure.

Take today, for example. I am wearing a Saran Wrap hat. I decided to take a break and henna my head again, so I mixed up the goo and added some spices and slopped it all on my head. The Saran Wrap – which I am rocking, by the way – it keeping things nice and warm, and soon I will go rinse it all off my head and see how orange I will be for the remainder of August. It is good times. I am loving the flexibility that comes with being able to wear a Saran Wrap Hat while working.

The Eternal SUV was towed away this morning, too. Hooray! Now, if I could just stop freaking out every time my eye itches, I would be a happy duck.

8 hours, almost three hundred kilometers, and several enormous ass marbles later – I have new bras.

I had a very solitary weekend. Saturday was spent scooting solo around the west end for lack of anything else to do (Ed is still sick), while on Sunday I finally caved into necessity and drove myself south of the border for some new bras. It took forever. I did not want to go, but there was a giant sale going on plus I snapped an underwire earlier in the week – it was time. I piled myself into the car (no one wanted to come with me; I wonder why) and drove the hour to the border so I could sit in the lineup for another hour and a half before I got to drive for another hour to go to the store I wanted. It seemed more than a little futile at the time, but I made the most of the day and came away with some new bras, a pair of bell bottoms because I am from the 70’s, a pair of jeans, and some shirts that, now that I am looking down, are a little indecent in the boobal area. Oh, and video games. My Sunday was spent being a rabid consumer, and I only feel a little guilty about it – I needed bras, goddamnit. The rest of my purchases were to soothe my inner savage beast for dealing with the border crossing – an hour and a half each way. It was not fun. I do not want to go to the US again anytime soon, even though I owe Ali a visit.

Last night we attempted to view the meteor shower on top of Mount Cypress. We saw a lot of satellites, some shooting stars, and a few meteors – not as many as we hoped, but it was friggin’ cold up there and the other people who are not us were very annoying. After a couple hours of star gazing we gave up and headed home, returning past midnight which is quite late for us as we are very old indeed. All in all, it was a productive if annoying and cold Sunday. Plus, bras. Hooray!

The rest of the month promises to be busy. On the block are several very fun things, each more entertaining than the last – a scooter trip to Victoria, the PNE, another Richmond Night Market visit, perhaps a weekend trip to Seattle, and more. Somewhere in there some work will get done, and then we’re into September and the Five Slash Ten anniversary celebration. Fun! I love having things to look forward to.

However, it being Monday I am working out of the Space Station today so I suppose I should get back to it with all the enthusiasm I can possibly muster.