Monthly Archives: September 2007

romantic weekend essentials

Posted in international kimli, relationship drama by

This Friday is our Fifthiversary – 5 years of wedding bliss, or something. To celebrate within the confines of our own (admittedly glorious) country, we are going to Saltspring Island to stay at a fancy resort spa thing for relaxing and island nudity. We’re leaving tomorrow morning, so today I am going to pack some Romantic Weekend Essentials to take with us:

  • Mood-setting candles
  • Sexy lubricants
  • Various things from the toy box
  • Good-smelling melty bath things
  • Nintendo DS Lites, chargers and a dozen games
  • Seasons 1 and 2 of The Brak Show
  • Diet Coke
  • Pants for when I have to go outside because I ran out of Diet Coke
  • A laptop for internetting
  • Several digital cameras to take naked pictures of Ed or of any bears we might encounter
  • Other people

We had originally planned to scoot to the island, but the weather is not going to cooperate so we will have to drive. On one hand this sucks because I love scooting and it would be much easier to explore the island; on the other it means I can bring more crap in case I need it. For example, I might need my printer. You never know when you are going to need to print something.

Yesterday was a productivity write-off, so today I have a zillion things to do. Last night’s Dinner for Dad turned into an impromptu dinner party making for a sink full of dirty dishes, there are hairs to henna, paperwork to finish, and the above-mentioned sexy things to pack. I should get started. Here I go. Ready? One – two – hey, I wonder if my pinatas have finished having sex yet?

death and mincemeat pie

Posted in everyday kimli, relationship drama by

I’m speechless.

I don’t think I’ll ever wear them again; I just want to keep them sealed in plastic as testament that dreams can eventually come true. If nothing else though, this was a very drawn out lesson to learn – never, ever buy “dry clean only” clothing ever again. If I had known the cleaning process would take almost two years, I would have just walked on by.

I did in fact go to the government yesterday. I don’t quite know what I was expecting – outrage, disbelief, angry villagers with flaming pitchforks – but instead I got paperwork. Lots and lots of paperwork. It seems I have to fill out a form and send it to the Space Station, at which point they have 15 days to respond. If they don’t, I submit a complaint to the government, and eventually someone will look at my case and decide my fate. If the Space Station opts not to play nice and cough up what they apparently owe me, the process will take months. While I was asking my many questions, people were calling in about their own case files and I learned that they are just now starting to process the July claims. It is in my best interest for the Space Station not to force the government’s hand in this, but that would involve their acknowledging their mistake all along – I am not expecting this to be over and done with any time soon. I really need to find a new job. Again. Maybe I should give up trying to fit into Corporate Canada and just go work at McDonald’s again. I still have my original time card, and I think there’s a visor around here somewhere.

I have numbers to calculate, forms to fill out, envelopes to mail, and a remembrance dinner to cook. Unfortunately, all I want to do is crawl back into bed with a cat or three and be sad and defeated. It doesn’t help that I was unable to find mincemeat tarts last night, so my Dinner for Dad will be incomplete. Today is the second Deathiversary, and I am keeping up the tradition of cooking all of dad’s favourites for dinner to honour his memory. It’s mostly tasty busy work, but it does help.

I miss you, dad.

official business

Posted in everyday kimli by

Last night there was a sock on the doorknob to our apartment. I am fairly certain this means that I was Doing It; however, there are several problems with this theory:

  • I was by myself
  • I don’t live in a dorm room

Strange. Ed claimed the sock when he got home, so I guess all is good. No, I don’t know why he didn’t bring the sock into the apartment. I choose not to ask these questions.

Today I have to go to the government, and I am nervous. I don’t like having to do Official Things – it always makes me feel like a horrible criminal. Still, it has to be done and stalling won’t make the justice happen. This week is jam-packed with activity, so today is really my only chance to rock the hell out of this space boat one last time.

I’m not really feeling the whole revenge vibe, though. It’s fun to pretend I’m doing this because someone done gone wronged me something fierce andI will have the last laugh, but really I’m doing it to protect myself. I’ve been left with no safety net and seem to have no recourse, which just isn’t right – so I’m off to see what can be done. I’ve also talked law with a law talkin’ person, who said it looks like I’m full of constructive dismissal goodness. I could maybe think about taking this whole nasty ball of wax further and do some suing, but it could be nasty and expensive and I don’t know if I really want to go down that road. It’s something to think about, but I’d rather use the government and whatever services they can offer me first because lawyers scare the hell out of me and also I do not own any court-appropriate clothing.

Scary.

mission over

Posted in i'm an astronaut by

It’s cute that I keep a blog!

It’s cuter that I am very detailed, have no shame, tend to document every outrage ever committed against my person, and keep *everything*!

I’m currently documenting every shady thing that’s happened since I started this hellish job, and on Monday I will take Dearheart’s advice and trundle my butt and corresponding documentation down to the Ministry of Labour and Citizens’ Services Employment Standards Branch and see what unfolds. It’s kind of cathartic, writing all this down in an official way. I’m feeling much better than I was yesterday. Sticking it to The Man is like tasty candy!

This is the end of my astronauting, though. When I get a new job (oh, the power of positive thinking), I’ll find another euphemism for what I do. I’ve been using astronaut for over three years, and both times it’s ended horribly. I don’t care if the third time is the charm; fool me twice shame on me and other assorted folkisms. I’m upbeat! I’m perky! I’m not going to eat nothing but ice cream for the 3rd day in a row!

This ad claims to feature “the most sophisticated piece of technology you will ever pee on”. Funny, but totally untrue – they have no idea what kind of things I’ve peed on. Now, if the ad said “the most sophisticated piece of technology you were SUPPOSED to pee on” – well, that’s different.

the wreck of the ss taco

Posted in angst, i'm an astronaut by

Okay so I’ve tried really hard to be upbeat for the last couple days both for my own sanity and also to make sure Ed doesn’t freak out and worry that we’ll soon be homeless, but today I am just plumb out of cheer.

I’ve always felt I was being screwed over at the Space Station, but now that I’m facing unemployment it’s become startlingly clear just how large a pickle I am now in.

Things weighing heavily on my mind:

  • I don’t get a Record of Employment, as I wasn’t technically employed
  • I wasn’t taxed, so I didn’t pay into EI
  • They just gave me a new contract stating I’m a consultant who works when work is available and that I wasn’t ever an employee
  • I’ve been removed from the support email group so I can’t help our clients or do any work (ie claim any hours)
  • I’m the only one of the three people who were NOT made “real” employees who is not getting any work
  • I’ve been applying for jobs left and right, but as true to my nature since I don’t have a job after two days of looking I am in full panic mode that I’ll never get another job
  • I’m more like my mother than I thought – replace “job” with “apartment”, and I’m exhibiting the exact behaviour she demonstrated in May that had me so incredulous and baffled
  • I don’t know what I’m going to do
  • So I’m sitting here sobbing pathetically
  • I miss my dad
  • I both love and hate the month of September

Oh, hell. What am I going to do?

i bet i think this post is about me

Posted in broken kimli by

Before I forget:

New glasses! There’s another one in the set, too. You can’t really see it, but the frames are green. Shiny metallic green. I love me some green!

I apologize for the size of the necklace; I know it’s so small you can barely make it out – but trust me, it’s there.

cheese eating surrender monkeys who will FUCK YOU UP

Posted in nerd, vroom vroom by

I just registered hex-angels.com. Normally I don’t go for hyphens in domain names, but hexangels was already taken. My distaste for the web hyphen – ironic, since every single one of my posts contains at least a dozen of them – was dampened this time when I discovered that the official Hell’s Angels website is hells-angels.com. The URL without the hyphen actually belongs to the Hell’s Angels of France. This makes me laugh for a number of reasons, the least of which is not picturing baguette carrying, beret wearing, skinny cigarette smoking brie eaters on giant Harleys. Sometimes, stereotypes are fun.

Who wants to design me a logo!

i love the smell of tangents in the morning

Posted in everyday kimli, i'm an astronaut, vroom vroom by

Ed and I didn’t end up going to Quattro for dinner last night, but not because it was closed (we had planned to go to the North Shore location all along), or because we were afraid of being shot at (we live in the Ghetto of North Vancouver; it’s a fact of life) – we didn’t go because I don’t really have a job.

I’m not being sarcastic this time; I really don’t. I sent a Come to Jesus (what does that mean, anyway? I honestly don’t know; I just enjoy the visual of asking my boss to meet me at the Jesus for some coffee and a scone) email to my boss asking what the hell was going on, and promptly (well, a couple hours later) found out many interesting things like there’s trouble afoot and hours are being slashed and executives are taking pay cuts and people are being let go and also all projects are on hold so um there’s really no work for me to do.

Well then. I was also told to take anything else that might come along, was guaranteed a good reference, and they’ll keep me posted if anything comes up for me to do. In the meantime, I have about three weeks of work I can bill for, and .. that’s about it. Oh, and the support system I worked so very hard to build up and make our clients love us for was scaled back to the pre-me state of the president or vice president will get back to you on that when they have time.

With all that news fresh in my ear, neither Ed nor I felt very good about spending a lot of money on a fancy dinner, tenth anniversary or not.

However, the evening wasn’t a wash by any means. Josh and I scooted to the Vespa shop to meet up with Ed and Shan’s newly tuned Scarabeo, and then we scooted around town for a bit smelling the below-mentioned smells and having an excellent time. We met up with Miranda and Reilly, and the 6 of us scooted to go have a look at a Mitsubishi Delica that Josh has his eye on. Afterwards, we all went to Da-De-O’s for some amazing food (some of which was on FIRE) and many laughs and good times before we all scooted to our respective homes for sleepings. So, while Ed and I didn’t get gourmet Italian food, we DID get to hang out with our favourite people, eat some deliciously filling tasty things, and spend a good third of what we would have spent had we stuck to our original plan. Besides, our Fifthiversary is coming up next week and we’re going away for fun and romance and island adventures.

A silver lining is not at all second best when silver is obviously so much more awesome than gold.

I couldn’t sleep last night though, which means my stress-induced insomnia is returning. The Skunk Jamboree certainly didn’t help either – it was so bad I had to leave the bedroom, and the living room was only slightly less foul. When is skunk season over? Far away skunk isn’t so bad, but when they’re doing that anal scent gland thing basically under your bedroom window, something has to be done. Do gorillas eat skunks? I could get some gorillas for the neighbourhood; put them in uniforms and let them patrol the area.

I do not enjoy being able to taste anyone’s stink, with or without fear of being infected by it. I am not Agent Elrond. You’ve failed me yet again, Starscream. LEFT CHEEK! LEFT CHEEK! LEFT CHEEK!

Hee! Who needs a job when I crack myself so consistently up?

smell that?

Posted in everyday kimli by

Vancouver smells tonight.

I don’t mean that as a complaint, just an observation – tonight the entire city of Vancouver and its surrounding suburbs all smell. While we were out scooting tonight, I smelled:

  • Freshly cut hay (quite possibly the most delightful smell ever)
  • Freshly cut grass (also good)
  • Burnt coffee (horrible)
  • Delicious foods (yummy)
  • Lush (nostalgic and delicious)
  • Salmon being smoked (odd but not bad
  • Marijuana being smoked (wouldn’t be traffic in Vancouver without it)
  • Unidentified roasting flesh (unpleasant)
  • Sewage treatment (normal)
  • The ocean (fabulous)
  • Exhaust (Ed smells)
  • Skunks (aka home)

It was mostly nice, sometimes awful, and very strange. Everything was so fragrant tonight, so much so that I am telling the internet. Vancouver smells! A lot!