Monthly Archives: December 2007

you don’t know what you want

Posted in everyday kimli by

In 1998, I had to buy a car.

My work had moved offices from downtown Calgary to out-past-the-airport Calgary, and there was no bus service out there. As a matter of fact, to this day there is still no bus service out there. Since I had no way to get to work, it was time to buy a car.

I had other reasons to want a car too – I was in a long distance relationship with some dumb guy, and was taking the bus to Edmonton every other weekend to see him. The trips were expensive; at least $80 a round trip plus cab fare from the bus depot to my apartment in Calgary. While I was only supposed to go up every other weekend or so, I was the one who did most of the travel in the relationship.

On (most of) the off weekends, he would drive down to see me. It was during those trips that I would take advantage of his car and do groceries and visit Ikea and check out all those parts of Calgary that are inaccessible to people with an irrational loathing of public transportation. The fact that I was now unable to get to work without a two-hour bus ride sealed the deal – I needed a car.

I did a bit of research, but I knew what I wanted. I had driven an ex-boyfriend’s Metro for a while, and knew that the cars were reliable, inexpensive, and great on gas. I planned out exactly how much I could spend and what features I wanted, and started the hunt for my very first car.

I was pretty firm in my choice. I wanted a brand new Chevy Metro, in any colour except red, and it had to be standard. I wasn’t about to pay extra for the privilege of having a gutless car – the standard came with an extra .3L in the engine. Those were the things I wanted. I had people trying to sell me Pontiacs, telling me it was an excellent idea to go into debt so’s I could buy a Volkswagen, and that sedans were totally awesome. All these people were stupid and wrong.

It was at one dealership in particular that made me almost give up on car shopping and all of humanity in general. Ed was with me for this trip, but knew that this was my thing and I had to be the one to do all the talking. It makes sense – this was to be my car, wholly and completely. I had my laundry list of things I would not budge on – had to be a Metro, had to be standard, did not want red – and I knew what the car should cost. All I needed was for someone to sell it to me, and everything would be super.

Enter Slickster Sam. Slickster Sam did not want to talk to me. He wanted to deal with Ed. He wouldn’t even talk AT me; he would ask Ed some questions, I would answer them, then he would continue to try to discuss things with Ed. This did not go over very well with me, but it was the only dealership in town that had any Metros in stock and I didn’t have much choice. Eventually Ed told him flat out that I was the purchaser, not him, and maybe he should talk to me. I was able to tell Slickster Sam exactly what I wanted – new Metro, standard, any colour except red and I wasn’t too crazy about white, either. Slickster Sam took all this in, nodded, and said:

“Well, we have a great little Metro on the lot, it’s the only one in town and it’s exactly what you’re looking for: a red, automatic Metro!”

Slickster Sam tried very hard to first of all convince me that Ed should do all the talking, then that I maybe wanted some sort of Pontiac sedan, then finally caved in to my demands and offered to sell me the exact opposite of what I was looking for. Slickster Sam was a jackass. Slickster Sam did not make any sales to me that day, or ever. I eventually bought exactly what I wanted from a very lovely gentleman in Red Deer who took great care of me, and I was delighted with my Metro until it was time to sell her to someone else.

The point to this story: Slickster Sam has been reincarnated as every single recruiter or headhunter in this town. I have a laundry list of things I am looking for in my new job, and I am getting phone calls in droves for things that are the EXACT OPPOSITE of what I’ve repeatedly said I want to do. I’m flexible – you kind of have to be – but come on. At some point lines must be drawn heeah and I have to put my deformed foot down and remind myself that I will not settle, something awesome will come along, and just because one person told me my skills were crap with too little focus in any one area and too many job changes (5 since 1997) doesn’t mean I’ll never get something great.

Argh.

clove’d

Posted in everyday kimli by

It’s a little dry in here, so this weekend I took some advice I found on the internets and boiled up some clove water. I do love me some cloves, but I think I maybe have cloved that water a little too enthusiastically – it was a little spicy in here yesterday afternoon. I boiled a big pot of water and added the peels of a couple of oranges, a cinnamon stick, and .. an entire jar of whole cloves. It smelled fantastic, but as the boiling went on it started to irritate my eyes. I’m debating straining the water and saving it to use next time I henna my hair. I add ground cloves to the mix so it smells a little less of dirty; using water that is 90% cloves could only be that much more awesome.

If I’m acting a little domestic and crafty, it’s solely because I’ve been re-reading the Little House on the Prairie books. I have an urge to make things from scratch the long and difficult way, but whenever it gets too powerful I just put the books down and pick up a video game or two. Nothing drives away the need for productivity like brightly coloured plumbers spinning through space, and before long there is no danger I will replace our mattress with hay.

I’ve been trying desperately hard to find a permanent job in the video game industry in the greater Vancouver area. Surely interviewing for a contract job with a hospital in Richmond is close enough, right?

The very thought of it actually made me burst into tears, but I guess this is growing up.

frozen and loathed

Posted in relationship drama by

Ed hates me. It’s the only reason I can think of as to why he is purposefully trying to freeze me to death. I’ve asked him numerous times now to close the bedroom window because it’s cold in here, but he won’t do it – and I *can’t* do it. I’m an independent woman; I can handle my own finances and buy my own baubles and pay someone else to change my own tire, but I need him to do this for me. I physically cannot close the window because I am too damn short, and I have tiny T-Rex arms. He hasn’t done it yet and audibly refused to do it on one occasion, so I am sitting here freezing my entire being off. Ed sucks! I am very, very cold! Socks and fuzzy bathrobes are not helping. If Ed doesn’t close the bedroom window soon, I am going to light his stuff on fire and bask in the warmth it’ll bring!

Brrrr! :(

who stole my words?

Posted in everyday kimli by

I have a really, really stupid question.

Does anyone own this book? If you do, can you please turn to page 87?

Is half your page gone, like this?

Given the author of the book and the subject of this chapter – SEX – I honestly can’t tell if the rip is deliberate. I mean, it’s the first page of the chapter on dirty, filthy sex. Ed thinks my book is just fucked up, whereas I think it’s probably fucked up but I’ve seen books with humourous “edits” like this before and I can’t tell if this is supposed to be like this, or if Amazon sent me a damaged book. So, um, please check your copy and let me know. Thanks!

Ed’s company party is tonight, so I have to go make myself presentable. This involves a great deal of glitter and shellac. I am a sparkly, sparkly princess.

danger cup

Posted in broken kimli by

I am in INTIMATE IMMINENT DANGER!

I very rarely pay attention to product recalls, mostly because I don’t buy normal people items and I happen to enjoy the taste of lead, thank you very much. While reading the Consumerist today though, one product recall caught my eye: Starbucks Fusion Coffee Mugs.

I love Starbucks mugs, and have a little collection of them that I use on a daily basis. I didn’t think the recall applied to me as I couldn’t imagine what a Fusion Coffee Mug was, but I delved further just in case.

Description: This recall involves two styles of Starbucks 14-ounce Fusion Coffee Mugs. The mugs are white and have a black plastic handle, and a stainless steel base. The cups have “Starbucks Coffee” printed on a black stamp or a brown original Starbucks logo stamp.

Uh oh.

Sold at: Mugs with the “Starbucks Coffee” stamp were sold at Starbucks stores nationwide from February 2007 through November 2007 for about $11. Mugs with the original logo stamp were sold only at Starbucks Pike Place store in Seattle, Washington during the same period and for the same price.

Shit.

The recall is for the exact mug I have sitting on my desk right now. Oh, of all the desks in all the living rooms in the world, why did it have to walk into mine? I am in DANGER! Danger of being BURNED!

Wait –

They’re recalling the mug because the handle could come off when filled with hot liquids, which poses a burn hazard. The only thing I’ve ever enjoyed out of this mug (except for that one night I enjoyed hot chocolate and Bailey’s) is Diet Coke – lots and lots of Diet Coke. The likelihood of my filling this mug with hot liquid on any occasion is not at all strong, and now I know there’s a hazard, I’ll just use one of my many other mugs. Besides, I *like* this mug. I bought it specifically because I wanted something from the First Starbucks Evar. They’re giving people a full refund and offering a free drink as incentive to return them, but is that really worth the hassle of my going into a Vancouver Starbucks, explaining the recall to them, trying to get them to figure out how to refund me the US price of the mug, then getting a free drink I don’t really want (my last Starbucks experience was a little traumatic)? Having the mug itself is more of an enjoyment to me than my $11 back would be. $11 might buy you an ale, but it would not buy you any whores and what, then, is the point?

I’ve made up my mind – I’m keeping my mug (ooh yeah, I’m keeping my mug).

outrage, horror, panties

Posted in nerd by

It’s a slow news day, so I will therefore work my panties up into a knot:

LOOK AT THIS!

I guarantee most of you won’t give a damn, but my knotted panties must express my outrage and horror. The article is about a Japanese DS game making its way stateside. Okay, fine, whatever. However, three things are making me frothy in a really bad way (and I absolutely apologize for the mental image of frothy, knotted panties):

  • The character pictured is a direct rip-off (you say homage, I say die die die) of my beloved Jet Set Radio Future
  • The game is by Square Enix, makers of Final Fantasy and my most hated of all loaves
  • There’s a character in the game actually nicknamed Beat, which is the name of the main JSR guy

AUGH! I STILL haven’t forgiven Square Enix for the 30-some hours I spent “playing” (23 of those hours were watching cut scenes) Final Fantasy X with NO FUCKING IDEA WHATSOEVER what I was doing, and now THIS? Stealing the art style and characters from my most favourite of all games ever? OH THE OUTRAGE AND HORROR (hey, I said it was a slow news day)!

Worse than my outrage though is my thoroughly piqued curiosity. The game is reportedly good – although there are millions of FF fans out there who don’t know any better either – and I’m horribly drawn to it based on that one dude in purple alone. There’s no North American release date, but there are ways around that if you don’t mind not understanding any of the text or dialogue in an imported game.

What to do? Continue my full on Square Enix rage, or set aside my admittedly bizarre prejudices and see if the game does in fact hold my interest? It’s really hard to tell if it will – the shot of the guy in purple isn’t game play, it appears to be from a – wait for it – cut scene. The screens of actual game play show a confusing and heavily pixilated mash of button pressing, nothing at all like JSRF. I am all mixed up in the feelings. It’s like going through puberty again, only nothing like it whatsoever.