Monthly Archives: July 2008

rip xbox 360: 03/09/07 – 07/23/08

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It is with great sadness that we announce the passing of our Xbox 360 on July 23rd, 2008 after a brief struggle with the Red Ring of Death. Predeceased by a PS2 and a Nintendo DS, the 360 is survived by the other PS2, the Wii, the Xbox 180, the Dreamcast, two Nintendo DSes and a PSP. The 360 will be sorely missed not just as a video game system but also as the thing we would watch downloaded movies on via a USB stick. A celebration of the 360’s life will be held this Saturday, July 26th, in North Vancouver BC – contact a family member for details. In lieu of flowers, the family requests that a donation be made to Child’s Play.

“Dead flies putrefy the perfumer’s ointment and cause it to off a foul odor; such is your lack of skill that you punk ass bitches are going to eat my plasma before this round is out.” (Ecclesiastes 10:1)

testing one two three

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Trying out the new WordPress iPhone app. Pretty cool, especially since Safari and WordPress don’t get along. This is exactly what I need – a way to write even more words from virtually anywhere. Good thing I just LOVE the sound of my thumbs working ..

not a friend of trees

Posted in everyday kimli by

Last week I placed an order online that consisted of many things, none of which were for me. Ed’s been enjoying the graphic novel renditions of the Drizzt books by R.A. Salvatore, so we looked online and saw that books 4-6 have been released with book 7 due out in August. We also ordered two DVD sets for his mom as a “congrats for finally coming to BC” gift.

The order showed up at home today. At least, part of it – book 5, and nothing else. Confused, I re-read the emails that Indigo sent me. Turns out they sent things in multiple shipments. Let’s see ..

  • Book 5
  • Books 4-6
  • Book 7
  • DVD Sets

Four shipments? Is that really necessary? The shipping was free, but what a stupid waste of packing materials and postage. Good game, Indigo. You are not a friend of trees.

Last time, they had the decency to pack my Chinese propaganda book, wordless graphic novel, and gay porn all in one box. Hell, the gay porn was even helpfully wrapped in brown paper. Not this time, though – let’s make waste!

Boo.

carded

Posted in everyday kimli, science by

The Purple Monkey Dishwatergate Scandal was demoralizing, but I’m completely over that now – my new desk RULES.

I’ve taken over two cubicles in the row of three, and I’ve spread out and nested quite satisfactorily. Already this morning many people have come by to comment on the coziness of my Science Hole. The overhead fluorescent lights in this corner are out (IT people tend to shun the light), and my window has a blind that shields me from that nasty “natural light” phenomenon – I can work in total darkness, bathed only in the unhealthy glow of my two LCD monitors; or I can choose to work by Ikea desk lamp as I am doing right now. It is awesome. If I had something to eat, things would be darn near perfect.

The Mail Fairy just brought me a present – my Moo Business Cards! I let them breathe for a few minutes before I tore the package open, and it was worth the tantalization – they’re *gorgeous*! I hesitated when ordering them because you’re faced with two paper choices – the original (used for Moo cards), or the “green” method (100% recycled, different texture). The hippie in me won out and I chose the green cards, and I’m glad I did. They look awesome! The cards also come in a nifty little box with index cards to separate other people’s cards from your own. So cute! I was a little worried how my logo would turn out – I had a bitch of a time figuring out what size the image had to be for decent uploading – but it came out just perfect. I love Moo. Every single thing I’ve bought from them has just blown me away in regards to ingenuity and quality. Yay for Moo!

Boo, however, for terrible Content Management Systems that are maintained by monkeys and crash in the middle of an article. No, I didn’t need that document I spent the last hour working on. Go ahead, crash Firefox. See if I care.

Jerks.

getting naked for science

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Last night during dinner, an interesting question came up: will the iPhone and iPod Touch respond if you use a/your wang instead of your finger?

Clearly, this could be a significant breakthrough for amputee exhibitionists everywhere. I am obligated to research my theory to the ends of the earth, not for my own pleasure, but for SCIENCE.

You can expect my detailed report – with pictures, if I can talk fast enough – to be on your collective e-desks soon.

Science is awesome.

relocation

Posted in science by

The effects of the Purple Monkey Dishwashergate Scandal are fast and far-reaching – I’ve spent the morning moving my desk in The Lab down the hall, away from those I gone did done wrong somehow. I was always going to be moving, as my old desk belonged to someone out having babies and was due to return shortly; the scandal just moved things up a few weeks. My new spot is much better, actually. I have a whole row to myself, a window seat, and a ledge for my many, many toys. It is good.

That doesn’t mean it still didn’t sting to learn that people were in an uproar over something I allegedly did, though.

fuck

Posted in science by

For somebody with such large and ugly feet and a relatively small mouth, the two seem to interact with spectacular results at an alarmingly frequent rate.

I may just never speak again.

this is gonna hurt

Posted in everyday kimli by

After spending most of yesterday running around in bare feet over hardwood flooring and concrete, I had a hard time getting to sleep due to the nasty leg pain. Knowing that my chosen shoes of the day would definitely cause even more pain tonight, I decided to try wearing my robot feet on the off chance that it would help.

Then I remembered why I stopped wearing the robot feet in the first place – it feels like my legs are rotting from the inside out.

This sucks. I hurt.

I think I’ll buy some muscle relaxants on the way home.

change of plans

Posted in adventure, everyday kimli, vroom vroom by

We didn’t quite make it to the Sunshine Coast on Saturday.

There were some excellent intentions – we left just after 10am, giving us plenty of time to get to Horseshoe Bay via Marine Drive. It was a lovely day, and the scooting was great. Around 10:40, we arrived at The Intersection and confusion set in: to our left was Horseshoe Bay, and to the right was a sign saying “Ferry Traffic”. Ed was in the “well, we need to get to the Horseshoe Bay Terminal, so we should go to Horseshoe Bay” camp, whereas my logic and DPS told me that we should be heading right, following the sign. Since I was in the lead, my cuisine reigned supreme. We went right, and immediately found ourselves on the TransCanada.

I had no fear, though. There were signs, signs that said “Ferry Traffic take Exit 4”. Heavy construction on the highway meant the speed limit was 50 km/h, easily handled by even the wussiest of our gang. Eventually, though, the construction ended and the speed limit shot up from 50 to 90 – no worries, we’ll just ride on the shoulder until exit 4. We were doing an inordinate amount of backtracking, but signs don’t lie.

Exit 4 loomed ahead, and this is where shit got weird. All along we were told to take Caulfield Drive to the ferries, which is fine – except at the exit, another sign said Ferries were to the left and Caulfield Drive was to the right. Well, fuck. We stopped to regroup, and as no one wanted to ride the highway again it was decided that we needed to head BACK to Horseshoe Bay, and take the ferry from there. We made our way through mystery neighbourhoods and expensive houses, winding down secret roads and barely visible “no exit” signs. Finally, we found ourselves back on Marine Drive .. at Lighthouse Park. Our little detour set us about 16 kilometers from where we needed to be. Super!

We did the drive again, this time following the Horseshoe Bay sign at The Intersection. There were signs all around that said “Ferry traffic this way”, so we followed them to find ourselves in the middle of Horseshoe Village. We rode around a little longer, then illegally parked so Ed could dart into the ferry terminal and ask where the hell we were supposed to go. In a group of four, in a village 4 blocks long, we couldn’t find the damn entrance to the ferry and it was infuriating.

Turns out, there was a good reason for that – we weren’t at the ferry terminal. I mean, we were, but for foot passengers only. There was no way for vehicles of any kind to get on the ferry from the Village; you were supposed to take the TransCanada to Exit 4 and turn off at Caulfield Drive meaning I was right all along (this is important, honest). Well, fuck. None of us wanted to backtrack along the highway again, so at this point (around 11:15am; we had missed the 11:10 sailing) we decided to change our plans and spend some time in Horseshoe Village instead. It would save us the cost of the ferry, the need to backtrack, and we’d get to hang out in a cool place for the afternoon – not too shabby. I still want to do Sunshine Coast at some point, but it’ll just have to happen later. Maybe in August. Yes, August.

I’m glad that my DPS didn’t fail me after all. I was seriously worried when it looked like I had led us all astray, and Ed was being a little vindictive about it – but my faith in my directional abilities held strong, and I pledge to always listen to my inner compass because it is never wrong, even when it looks like things are bad. So there.

Sunday was for cleaning – I went through all my drawers and closets, and filled three garbage bags with stuff for Goodwill. My underwear drawer is pristine – things are folded and organized, and my bras are filed by colour and newness. There still isn’t a hell of a lot of room in the closet, but it’s better than it was – you can walk around the bed now, and it turns out we actually do have a floor.

This is just the beginning, I’m afraid. Ed’s parents are coming for their first visit ever over the August long weekend, and I’m feeling about nervous about the state of our apartment. It’s getting there, but there’s still a lot of clutter that needs to be sorted and dealt with. Shouldn’t be a problem. We’re the only people I know NOT going to Pemberton next weekend, so I’ll have plenty of time to clean while everyone else is out having (expensive, loud, sticky, yucky) fun.

creepy

Posted in nerd by

Drunk Betty is in the middle of a two-day bender, and she’s been listening to music loudly the entire time. It goes well with the hooch, you see.

Anyway, she’s been listening to old songs from the 40’s and 50’s on a very scratchy radio and it is CREEPING ME OUT. I feel like I’m trapped in Rapture and splicers are going to jump out of my bathroom shouting weird celebratory zombie slogans at me. It is scary. If the lights start to flicker, I am going to run screaming into .. uh .. a more brightly lit area of the apartment.