The Easter Bunny delivered us a gift at the lab – on each desk this morning there was a gold chocolate bunny and a fancy company pen. Neat! I like presents. I can’t help but wonder how the bunny delivered them, though – it seems to me that it would be extremely uncomfortable to lay a bunch of pens as you would eggs. That’s how it works, right?

One of Wikipedia’s “Did You Know” articles for the day is on Traumatic Insemination, which includes a section on dolphin gang rape. While I normally embrace all knowledge with open arms, I both did not need to know this OR need the mental images I now have in my head of a roving gang of Flippers surrounding a girl dolphin and cat-calling (dolphin-calling?) her into group sex. Strangely enough, in my head the whole thing goes down much like a scene from West Side Story – dolphins dressed like greasers from the 50’s singing and dancing in the sea-streets as they heckle their poodle- skirted prey to a snappy Bernstein beat.

It’s shaping up to be one of THOSE Thursdays, I think.

It’s also impossible to find an image of a dolphin dressed like a greaser online. In fact, I daresay it’s harder than the hardest image search I’ve ever attempted to do.

It can’t be all bad – spring is finally here.

burrard station, helga'd by my iphone

The antibiotics have been working SO well that I decided to leave them at work last night to see if perhaps they could fight my infection remotely.

Strangely enough, it still seemed to work – I could breathe last night for the first time in over a week. I’ve glued the rest of the pills to my body so I can’t forget them again, and I’m starting to actually feel a little bit of hope that this plague may some day release me from the snotty, inflamed grip  of death.

Thanks to an impromptu and chilly beach BBQ last night (that’s right, everywhere else: we’re BBQing at the beach already), Oscar has successfully made it to 8500km going 60km or less. I cheated once or twice, getting up to 65 – but since my break-in period was supposed to be 200km and I actually did 243, I was secure in my need and justification for speed. He’s still performing beautifully, and with every kilometer I ride I am less scared of exploding the cylinder betwixt my legs. Now that I’m starting to feel better, I want to ride all the time and to places that are exciting and exotic (but I will settle for Richmond, because I want to go to Daiso). If nothing thrilling presents itself for the weekend of the 18th, I may have to scoot to Victoria or Bellingham.

I woke up before my alarm clock went off this morning. I tried to ignore my bladder, but my pee would not be silenced and since it was already 6:20, I just went ahead and showered. As a result, I had time to stop at Capers and pick up deliciousness on my way to work, and still get in several minutes early. I know this is not really newsworthy, but you have to understand that my anal retentive tendencies to arrive early for fun works in the exact opposite when it comes to work. I’ll show up an hour early for a good time, but hell has to practically freeze over for me to make it to work on time, let alone early.

And now I’m listening to Christmas music. I’m still asleep and dreaming, aren’t I? I KNEW being able to breathe through my nose and taste salt (not at the same time; that would be weird) was too good to be true.

I have the strongest urge to stick plastic Hello Kitty figures all over Oscar with double-sided tape. I may have to do this, especially for Sunday’s Lo-Fi Scooter Workshop (which you’re coming to, right?).

Vermont gave me goosebumps of awesome. Good on you, people.

Warning: for the unforeseeable future, I will look like crap.

Spring is hitting me HARD, and I am leaking out of every orifice in ways that are both astounding and horrible. It’s *bad* this year – I know each year around this time I inevitably bitch about my allergies, but this is the first time I’ve ever needed to walk around with a bucket under my nose to catch the drips. When I lean my head forward, a river flows from my nose. It is awesome. Last night I slept with a box of Kleenex and woke up with a soggy pillow.

To save my own sanity and to avoid Picasso-esq facial art, I have to stop wearing makeup until the pollen in the air settles down a little. My eyes are actually leaking worse than my nose, and it’s making things .. crusty. It is not attractive. I hate going au natural – frankly, I *like* looking like a street walking clown – but having makeup drip into my eyes just makes everything worse. I’m swearing off the stuff until I can breathe again. I will look like hell, but the alternative is extremely uncomfortable.

I put 50km on Oscar last night, and by the end of today I’ll be just 80km away from speed. Tomorrow is supposed to be gorgeous – we’re talking double digits – and I’m confident I can get those last restricted km out of the way with a solid day of riding. The only question is where to go. I want to do some exploring and take some pictures, but I’m tired of my usual haunts. Maybe I’ll head east and see what I can find around Port Moody.

Time for caffeine and more Kleenex. I love spring, but this can stop now.

There’s nothing going on.

I’ve had a surprisingly shenanigan-free week while Ed is away in Toronto. In fact, I’ve done .. nothing. I watched half a movie on Monday, cleaned the house last night, and tonight I plan to tackle the litter boxes. There is very little excitement to be found in any of these things, so I’ve got nothing to report – no funny stories, no weird incidents, no embarrassing tales of failure and redemption. I don’t even have any pictures to share as a replacement. There is just .. nothing.

I suppose this is how most people really live – there’s nothing saying life has to be incredible and awesome every waking moment – but it makes me cranky when things are not exciting. I try to do my best – for example, I washed the dishes last night topless and did a little dance in the kitchen – but it’s just not the same.

Ed gets home tomorrow night, and the weekend forecast is sunny. I hope to have Oscar broken in by Saturday, so maybe I can find some adventure out there somewhere.

Oh, there is one other thing that’s new: I’ll be at the next Got Craft? show in May, selling my Purl Necklaces. Miranda has a table for her various crafty things, and she’s sharing space with me. If you’re around, come by and say hi. I don’t know what the market for my shiny things will be, but it’ll be fun to try to sell stuff. Besides, I get to make a sign with my “business” name on it and it will be highly amusing to me to see how many people get the joke and do a double take.

Semen is *hilarious*.