Following Wednesday Update:

Ever since the events below transpired, I’ve been feeling uneasy about the entire thing. It seemed a little too good to be true, frankly – and when other people started having issues, I decided to make some calls.

As of this afternoon, I’ve been called twice by the office of the President of Rogers Canada. My order is in the system, but is “processing” – even though I was told on Friday afternoon (call #2) that my order had actually shipped, this isn’t true. I’ll be in processing mode until Rogers gets more stock from Apple, and no one can tell me when that will be. Okay, fine. It sucks, but it makes sense.

It’s not just that, though. The rep I spoke with on Friday swore up and down that I would be able to transfer from Fido to Rogers with no penalty whatsoever – in fact, the entire reason I was calling Rogers was to ask if this was true. When he assured me it was and that he would waive the activation fee if I placed the order with him, I did just that. Order placed, phone is on the way, everything is super.

No one at Rogers can figure out why the rep – JC – told me this, as it is NOT TRUE. If I want to switch from Fido to Rogers, I’ll be hit with a $400 Early Termination Fee, the very fee that JC told me didn’t exist. The last gentleman I spoke with – some sort of senior honcho man – is attempting to track down the recording of the call I made on Friday to verify my claim. It seems the original order number I was given was mysteriously cancelled, and a new order placed in my name. Awesome.

My fate is out of my hands at the moment. Rogers and Fido are talking amongst themselves to figure out if my claim is true, and why I was told what I was told those magic words. It’s up to Fido now, and if they’ll waive the charge because an employee at another company made a mistake is both highly unlikely and remains to be seen.

So, don’t do what my post below suggested. It clearly isn’t working out so well for me.

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Continue reading →

It is my birthday. I do not have a birthday hat, but I DO have some festive pens:

ding! grats.

That is all.

At 9:01pm last Friday night, I was at the pub with the gang. Instead of our usual conversation and beer (water) drinking, we were staring intently at our iPhones with much more dedication than usual. Facebook was about to open up the enticing world of user names, and we wanted in.

Everyone gave up on getting their first name except me – I was going to get http://www.facebook.com/kimli, or else. I knew I had a fairly good chance as it’s not a common name, but I also knew that my name is highly prized amongst lawful good night elf ranger dwarf priestesses – I had to act fast.

So, I did. I swept in and scooped my first name as my user name – everyone else settled for their nicknames – and all was right with the world.

This morning I woke up to an email:

Subject: Just amused.

You ALWAYS get to use “Kimli” before I do! haha!

Granted, it is your real name and so I should step back, but even so!

OWNED. OWNIE OWNED OWNERSON OWNED. I know her – she’s the one most guilty of using my name online for RPG/LARP/MMO purposes, and exactly the reason I acted so fast to get my name online. MINE! MY NAME! I rolled a natural 20 and cast magic missile on your epically mounted ASS!

I am pleased with myself. Pleased as punch.

I’ve been purposefully avoiding writing about Sasha because I can barely get the words out before the tears start and then I get all red and smeary and broken.

She’s still around, but I don’t know for how much longer. We had basically written her off in December, telling ourselves than any time past all the tests was “extra” time we should be grateful for. And I am. She still shows signs of her old self – climbing onto my desk to cradle herself in my arms when I’m at the computer. Yelling and finding a way to climb onto the bed and into my face when she’s hungry or deciding she wants some love. Licking my hand and forgetting to put her tongue back in her mouth so she looks all silly and makes me laugh every time. The insanely obvious sneaky creeping she does when she thinks you can’t see her try to steal your food.

Then there’s the rest of the time.

Before Ed and I left for San Francisco in May, Sasha started having .. accidents. Instead of using the litter boxes placed strategically around our apartment, she was going into the bathroom and doing her business on the floor.

Okay, we thought. She’s getting old and she’s trying to tell us something. We moved one of the litter boxes into the bathroom just for her use, and that seemed to work for a while.

Then it stopped working. Shan, who is a saint amongst hipsters, dealt with more than any person should ever have to deal with while Ed and I were away – she cleaned up Sasha’s crap for an entire week. It must have been horrible, and I can’t thank her enough.

We thought maybe Sasha was just stressed out – all the activity while we were packing, then we were gone for a week. Perhaps she was just acting out, and once she realized we were back to stay, maybe things would get better.

Things didn’t get better. Perhaps the litter box is too hard to get into – I’ll take the lid off so she can climb in easier, and maybe things will get better.

Things didn’t get better. Maybe the litter box is all wrong – let’s replace it with one just for her that’s easy to get into. We’ll clean it daily and scrub it out and maybe things will get better.

Things didn’t get better.

Since early May, Ed and I have cleaned two to three piles of cat diarrhea EACH every single day. At first it was just poop, but now she’s not even using the litter box to pee and she’s going in sneaky places. It’s always contained to the bathroom (as far as we can tell), but this is insane – we’ve gone through so many cleaning products I’ve lost count, and every day there’s more and more horrible things to clean up.

I don’t know what to do. We’ve done everything the vet has suggested – new food, new litter, private box, positive reinforcement – but she won’t or can’t stop shitting on the floor.

Ed and I know we need to have the conversation, but I can’t bring myself to do it – it tears me apart to even think about it.

Am I being unfair to Sasha? She lies around listlessly, barely moving – but then she’ll be fine and almost normal and happy.

What do I do? I’ve never faced this before, and I’m so lost.

please don't leave me

• As far as ICBC is concerned, I have no twin sibling (evil or otherwise)
• I wasn’t allowed to smile in my new license picture, but I AM wearing bright green eyeshadow
• .. and a flower in my hair
• … and a necklace that says “KIMLI” – fuck you and your “Kim Lee” legal name BS!
• I got a parking ticket while at the DMV
• Except I DID pay for parking – the lot was a “display ticket on dash” one, and I was on my scooter
• So good luck getting me to pay that ticket – I keep parking reciepts for exactly this reason
• The ticketing officer must have been a real dumbass
• I am tempted to send in the ticket and my paid parking reciept with “LOL” written across the top
• Ohhh yeah
• Now I will eat a crepe
• Subversive whipped cream for the win!

Contrary to popular belief, I don’t spend a lot of time outside in a state of undress. I’m almost over the top with regards to sun safety – whenever I’m in danger of UV rays, I exercise extreme caution. While I don’t usually wear sunscreen, I cover myself up carefully – can’t be catching any rays, now. My lack of pastiness is already costing me nerd points; the last thing I need is any kind of TAN.

It’s been so long since I’ve felt the effects of the sun that yesterday I got a little cocky – actually, I refused to believe the sun actually existed. In the name of SCIENCE, I decided to run an experiment: I went outside into the sun in a revealing top without any sunscreen, just to see what would happen.

Verdict: the sun exists, I DO burn, and by the time I got nervous and applied sunscreen, it was too late – I am crispy and sore and red in strange places. Oops. It was for science, though, so it’s okay.

I had the BEST Sunday. We had a pre-birthday picnic at Kitsilano Beach, and many awesome came with delicious foods and presents and good cheer. We were at the park for almost 7 hours – the day was absolutely glorious. We went through 30 wieners! That is a lot of wieners! We actually ran out of wiener buns, so I suggested that Chris use a Twinkie instead – and he DID. He is a madman, albeit a hilarious one. Thank you so much to everyone who came out – I feel loved! Perhaps this “turning old” thing won’t be so bad after all!

As you can see below, I have posted some things on Craigslist. So far I’ve received an offer of two size 40 men’s wool suits in exchange for the EEE PC, or a long board and some DJ equipment. I had to update the ad to say “no trades, please” – I don’t need more things; I’m trying to get RID of things. Besides which, even if I WAS accepting trades, I do not have any need for THOSE things. I am not a large cold man, I just sold some of my own DJ equipment, and a long board would put me in traction. Money good. Plaster casts not good.

Lastly, yes – Oscar is for sale. Stay tuned to find out why ..

john and stacie gave me moles to whack. so awesome!

I had the most amazing Sunday – details later – but for right now, I feel like I’m going to throw up.

It’s not what you think – unless you know my secret – but seeing Oscar up there like that is just .. just .. horrible.

WHY, exactly, can I not have TWO scooters? :(

The SquEEE PC is still available, too – Delicious Juice Dot Com readers can have it for $300 and a hug.

• Go to 7-11
• Pay $2.49
• Put it in the freezer overnight to firm it back up again
• Eat it on my couch while watching retro Transformers
• Realize it is not as good as the hype
• Be sad
• .. for about 2 seconds, because I can’t be sad when there are Transformers on
• Yay for cartoons!

My robo-ID interview is on Monday, at which point I’ll also be renewing my driver’s license. I’ve been waiting for this day for *years* – each time I had go to ICBC, I tried to get them to re-take my license picture. Hell, even when I got them to issue me a new one because they fucked up and tried to declare me blind when I’m not, they wouldn’t play along. This time though, they have no choice. I’m going to get a new license photo, and I’m going to see what they’ll let me get away with.

Sadly, I don’t think it’ll be a lot. I’ve heard rumours that they’re trying to enforce the “no smiling” rule of passports. I know hats aren’t allowed, so I won’t get to wear my jester hat or tie-dyed wimple. Hell, the new photos are even done in black and white so my elaborate rainbow of sparkly makeup will be moot. I haven’t given up hope, though – there’s got to be SOMETHING I can do to make life more interesting.

I’m hoping that, at the very least, I can get away with wearing something fun in my hair. I hate it when things aren’t interesting.

I have a challenge! I’m going to try to write something for serious! I’m At My Limit with regards to the way the City of Vancouver treats people who are attempting to go a little greener in ways that do not line the transit coffers with daily cash. Vancouver claims to be all green and progressive and eco-friendly, but that only applies to people who take the bus – fuck the rest of us. A lot of major cities who toot their own horns far less than we do are making huge strides in alternative parking – Toronto is so far ahead of us we might as well be in Balzac, Alberta – yet Vancouver insists on punishing us at every opportunity. I’m going to Write a Letter – to the City, the newspaper, the Transportation Minister, and anyone else I can think of – about this issue. And if I want to be taken seriously and not just written off as the crackpot I am, I have to write for serious. I don’t do serious often (or ever), so this’ll be interesting and challenging. Can I get my point across without pop culture references and bizarre hyperbole? Will my passion and dedication still ring true when I can’t describe myself as “fucking awesome”? Can I write a coherent editorial without breaking into song? I have my doubts, but I have to try.

I am glad it is Friday.