resistence is futile

Content with my XBox 360, Nintendo Wii, numerous PS2s, a Dreamcast, multple DS systems and a PSP, I’ve managed to avoid wanting or needing a PS3. I was feeling pretty good about myself for it – I’m practically Buddhist!

Today, though, all my noble aspirations went out the bloody window: Katamari Forever will be released this fall, exclusively for the PS3.

Namco Bandai has been saying that there would never be another Katamari game for years, but they evidently changed their mind and the result will be the largest, most highly defined Katamari game to date: it’s going to be HD, baby.

FUCK YES.

I am incredibly excited about this.

Who wants to come with me to buy a PS3?!

dah na na na na na na naaaaa katamari damacy

dah na na na na na na naaaaa katamari damacy

taking my daughter to work

Today is Take Your Son/Daughter to Work Day. I do not have either one, and my cats do not make good workplace companions. I still wanted to take part though, so I brought the next best thing to my own flesh and blood:

Jungle Marine Athena!

athena is attentive and asks many questions

athena is attentive and asks many questions

i let her lead a training session

i let her lead a training session

she does not like it when people do not pay attention

she does not like it when people do not pay attention

back to work

back to work

class dismissed - time for a treat!

class dismissed - time for a treat!

What a busy day!

snikt!

I have a vagina made of Wolverine.

I’m just going to pause for a second and admire that sentence – okay, done. That is truly a great sentence, though. I like it almost as much as yesterday’s salsa analogy.

To the point, then. Despite yesterday’s outrageous and blinding pain all down in my lady business, by last night at 11pm it had disappeared. It didn’t just fade away; it was gone. Logically, then, the only conclusion I can come to is that my vagina has healing powers along the lines of those possessed by a Marvel comic book character. Makes perfect sense.

Yesterday afternoon I did eventually panic enough to call the BC Nurse’s Hotline and ask what I should do. The nurse, while very nice, had no idea – her exact words were “huh, that’s odd”. I heartily agreed. We talked for a bit, and she suggested that I take myself to the doctor immediately. It was almost 5pm, so I packed up my desk and scooted my broken garden to the clinic I go to when I break myself (I have a Frequent Shopper card there). The visit itself sucked all the ass in the universe – there are few things more unpleasant than an unexpected internal exam. I peed in a cup, and she inspected my junk. Verdict: a probable UTI coupled with a tear. Solution: Umm ..

See, I’m already on antibiotics to fight my sinus infection and an additional dose just seems like overkill. She said there was really nothing I could do – the tear would heal itself, if I have a UTI the antibiotics I’m already taking should clear that up too, my WSD is still in place and looking lovely, and take some Advil for the pain. I put my pants back on and went home, because there was really nothing else going on. I hurt, everything sucks, my girl parts are stupid.

Stupid, but super powered. I’ve been peeing with caution (and not coughing while doing it), and there is no discomfort. I can’t help but tense up at even the memory of the searing hot pokers of what the fuck, but so far it’s been good. Here’s hoping things are better down there.

If not for this morning’s adventure in porcelain, I’d be downright jolly. I’m mostly just pissed off, though – I am AT MY LIMIT with being sick in mysterious and complicated ways.

To cheer myself up, I bought myself a diamond necklace. Hooray!

What?

nerd score

Despite being at death’s snotty, wheezing door, I did manage to go outside yesterday and get myself a Nintendo DSi for $5.

Holla!

EB is offering $100 credit towards a DSi if you trade in a DS Lite + one game. I did them several better and traded in Ed’s DS plus several games (a bunch of crappy word games, Dragon Quest V [finished], Puzzle Quest: Galactrix [I hate it], Super Mario Galaxy [sort of regretting trading this one in], and more). I ended up with $195 in trade-in credit – handy, because the DSi retails for $199 Canadian. Sweet! I had to buy a DS charger to make the trade-in work (they won’t take the system without the charger, and I actually didn’t have one because Lemon ate it) and I also picked up Rhythm Heaven (now in English! I have the Japanese version but I couldn’t figure out how to play the game so it sits on my shelf and makes me look cool), so all together I spent $55 and walked away with a shiny (not really; the systems are matte) new DSi and a ridiculous game that is incredibly challenging because I have all the rhythm of a rabid tapir on meth.

Oh, and I also sold a game to one of the EB staff because it wasn’t in their computer so I couldn’t trade it in. He gave me $10 for it, which paid for my lunch. It was a very productive Sunday.

I am not feeling any better. The doctor told me it would be at least a week before I felt human again, and being this sick for this long is fucking exhausting. My cough is actually worse now, because every little thing makes me wheeze and it turns into a deep cough and I sound just *awful*. People at work are no longer afraid of my germs; they’re laughing at them. There’s got to be a law against this.

One of the packages I picked up from the post office on Saturday was a large box of sex toys courtesy of Good Vibrations. I’ve been too sick to actually do anything with them, but I DID charge my Lelo Mia:

rrrrrrrr

rrrrrrrr

I am doubled over with laughter and coughing at the idea of a USB-charged sex toy. It’s very fancy and discreet – at least, it would be if I didn’t keep waving it in people’s faces shouting “LOOK AT MY VIBRATOR!” – and I can’t wait until I’ve returned from this state of undead so I may experience the glee in my pants.

love a steve today

Rule #4 has always been “Never love a guy named Steve”, but I may have to break that rule today.

I told my friend ‘Zeem all about my video driver angst and he found me some new drivers that might do the trick. I took the plunge and installed them – not without a great deal of wide-eyed squeaking, mind you – and it WORKED. I can run Quake Live! My FPS aren’t great, but I was able to log in and shoot things and it was so awesome I almost wept out my pee hole. HOORAY FOR STEVE! HE IS MY FAVOURITE STEVE EVER!

:D :D :D

Time for fragging!

count the pop culture references

I have a problem.

My laptop Banjo is a medical mystery. Everything on the internet told me that I would never, ever get XP to run with any measure of stability on the Vista machine, but I refused to listen and did it anyway. We fought an epic battle in which many lives were lost, but in the end, I stood victorious over a steaming pile of Vista entrails. Through the magic of modern science and using drivers of questionable validity, I was able to piece together a working build of XP. The villagers rejoiced, I saved the princess 1, the reptilian space pope 2 gave me his blessings, and I was invited to pose nude for a variety of magazines – such was my triumph. Things were good. Vista was banished to the ninth level of hell, never to be seen again.

Unfortunately, with great jury rigging comes great responsibility problems 3. Primarily, Banjo will not run Quake Live. He *should* be powerful enough – the game will be ten years old this December – but the video drivers are not cooperating. They need to be updated. They *can’t* be updated. I fully believe that Banjo is running not through the awesome power of my own technical abilities but because he has Three Stooges Syndrome 4 – there are so many things wrong with my computer that no one problem can get through to wreak havoc.

I didn’t stop to question *why* Banjo was able to do the impossible. Large stickers covering every piece of paper that came with my laptop stated that he was a Vista machine and no amount of technical voodoo would change that. I shouldn’t be able to run XP, but I can – why? Am I really that good at computer tinkering, or is there something far more sinister at play here?

I want to believe 5. If 9 years of the X-Files has taught me anything, it’s that I have two options: to believe with an unwavering faith and accept this miracle as it is, without hoping for more – or I can take the red pill and see just how deep the rabbit hole goes 6. Also, there are 4 lights 7, I sense a great disturbance in the force 8, bah weep grana weep nini bong 9, and your mom goes to college 10.

As always, I’m not satisfied with only having two choices – risk upgrading my drivers to play Quake Live, or live with the fact that I may never frag again. A newer, thirder option is becoming clear to me now: give up Banjo to the greater good (a media PC for the living room), and build myself a proper gaming rig. It would be truly excellent to have a video card that was made in this century and could handle a ten-year old engine without stuttering. My laptop is great as a surfing machine, but when it comes to sheer carnage, it doesn’t hold up. We’ve been talking about setting up a media PC for some time now, and Banjo would fill that role admirably. I could do this. We have the technology 11. It will be glorious 12.

Anyone want to come PC shopping with me next month?

You can tell I’m feeling better – I managed to stuff 12 pop culture references into this one update. I think that may be a new record!

blast cast from the past (at last)

My anal buddy Mike asked me if I could hunt down an old match I covered –  Luniz vs Daler, Q3 1v1 – and stick it online somewhere so Luniz could relive some past glory. I found the recording – I seem to have kept all all my casts on my backup drive – so I put the file on my web bucket for downloadings. If you want to take a listen and experience the good old days of online video game tournament coverage, have at it.

It’s always weird to listen to yourself, but it’s a triple trip to listen to yourself and not recognize your own voice. The file downloaded to my work computer and then I was called away – when I came back and put my headphones on, I was babbling away in my own ears and it wasn’t until I heard myself say “This is DeeAy with Radio iTG” that I realized what the hell I was listening to.

Holy shit, do I ever miss game casting. I miss the action, the excitement, the insane hours I spent behind a microphone. I miss knowing what’s going on in the community and watching the tournament ladders. I miss attending events. I miss having a legitimate excuse to talk that fast. I miss trillian and travelyan and WaCK and the rest of the capital-letter-abusing team.

I sound pretty damn good in this cast. Go me, back then.

Oh, and this is an awesome match to listen to – both Luniz and Daler were (are) incredible players, and I have a special guest caster in cl0ck who is a great player himself.

Fuck, this is making me want to run home and play some Q3 and yell out to the living room what I’m doing as I do it. Maybe I’ll get some more of those old casts online so I can relive my own glory days whenever I’d feeling particularly reminiscent.

too much free time

“You’re impossibly fast and strong, getting 20 city mpg (26 on the highway). You’re 80 feet tall; your skin is ice cold and Diamond-Koted against rust. Your lips don’t move – you don’t even HAVE lips – and sometimes you speak like .. you’re from another planet; one that’s been devastated by an endless war between good and evil. You never eat or drink anything, and you turn into a giant truck.

What year are you?”

“.. I’m a current model ..”

“And how long have you been a current model?”

“A while.”

“I know what you are.”

“Say it. Out loud.”

“.. Transformer ..”

“Are you afraid?”

“No.”

Contrary to popular belief, not every girl wanted to be romanced by a vampire while growing up.

i luv optimus prime

i luv optimus prime