Monthly Archives: December 2006

we’re metronatural

Posted in international kimli by

Hello from Seattle! Josh, Ed and I are chillin’ at Doug and Ali’s place, getting in some quality time before tomorrow night’s New Year’s Eve party. We’re also experiencing the Wii for the first time, since we haven’t been able to find any in Vancouver and therefore do not own one yet. It’s pretty much solidified our need for a Wii – maybe we should have camped out overnight after all.

We’ve also introduced Josh to the thrill of outlet shopping, much to his wallet’s dismay. I myself picked up another pair of Crocs* in anticpation of my Vegas trip – my feet do not survive the whole trade show circuit without them. Where were Crocs when I was working the sex shows? PVC goes with rubber shoes, right?

Time to Wii!

Well, maybe after I punch Josh in the junk.

*: I *know* they’re ugly – they’re also the only shoe I’ve found that I can wear for hours at a time without wanting to break down and cry in pain after hour three. Since I’m pretty much resigned to wear them, I might as well have them in as many colours as I can find!

paralyzed with rage and island rhythms

Posted in everyday kimli, nerd by

We had dueling parties last night! The idiots upstairs were having a party in which drunken people fell up the stairs and made all the noise in the known universe, and the idiots next door had another drum circle! Oh, it was totally awesome and in no way utterly confounding that people can have that little a clue about the whole “living in an apartment” thing. Luckily, most of the noise quieted down around midnight which was good because Ed started to get belligerent and wanted to kick some rich kid ass (we’re pretty sure the penthouse upstairs is paid for by the mommy of one of the drunk kids; they got the apartment because she was the one who viewed it and filled out the application and also the landlord was desperate to rent it). I immediately protested, because he never lets ME throw down and start fights in the hallway, but he brushed me off with some lame excuse about my being a delicate flower. Piffle, I say. Piffle and a kick to the nuts.

Last night Ed, Josh and I collectively lost whatever cool we had remaining after it was discovered that we spent much of the evening in a Laundromat doing 10 loads of carefully sorted laundry while discussing the pros and cons of various vacuum cleaner styles. We are losers. It’s a shame really, because I used to enjoy being cool. I suppose I will just hang up my video games for good, and take up window staring and drooling.

Tonight there will be alcohol, car parts, paycheques, scoldings, meatballs, bad drivers, and ‘nee. None of the above is important except for ‘nee and perhaps the paycheque. Yay!

fear and casting in las vegas

Posted in angst, on air by

I am not the most patient of girls, and every second I go without informative email makes me vibrate with angst – what if they’ve changed their mind? What if my request for incidental coverage pushed them over the edge? What if the Soul Sucker found out about my imminent return and put a stop to my unmarketable fat girl groove? Oh, stress. I like it much better when I’m not completely freaking out.

I tend to not mention my travels until I have all the details in my grubby little hands, but I need to do SOMETHING while I’m waiting for info so I will just spill the beans: I am going to Las Vegas next month to attend the 2007 Consumer Electronics Show.

I’m excited enough about going to the CES, but for me the real thrill is that Creative asked me to come back for a second year to provide commentary for the Fatal1ty shootouts that run throughout the event at the Creative Labs booth. This is the first time I’ve been asked back to do coverage, and I almost broke my neck with delight when I received the email asking me to work with them again (I went flying downstairs to tell Ed, who was at Josh’s place, and my pants were too long and I almost tripped on them causing death). I really did have a blast working with Creative last year, and I’m annoyingly beyond giddy at a) the chance to work with them again, and b) being asked *back*. They liked me! They really liked me!

As usual though, I’m also spending a lot of my time freaking out. I still don’t have hotel information, and have convinced myself that I’m going to have to sleep under the booth and shower in the Bellagio fountains. I asked for incidental funds this year because last year it wasn’t negotiated and I had a hard time coming up with the money to cover taxi and transit fares, let alone the occasional meal I ate. Logic tells me they will pay me for my work, since they did last year – but until get confirmation, I will assume otherwise and worry about it since I have to take a week off from work to do this gig and I don’t have paid vacation time.

That would be enough stress for anyone, but I’ve only just begun to delve into my large sack of mental issues:

I get serious performance anxiety when I have to cast, and terrible stage fright until I’m in the zone. I’ve thrown up with nervousness before, and I know I’ll be spending time between now and January 8th with my stomach in knots for fear that I will suck and make a total ass of myself.

THEN! Because that is just NOT ENOUGH ANGST FOR ME! There’s MORE:

You can’t market Mama Cass! CES 2006 was the event where my high from doing a great job and all the wonderful praise it brought me came to a crashing and crushing low, courtesy of someone who does not work for Creative Labs. I will undoubtedly be interacting with this person again, and the very thought of it fills me with every emotion an actor can display: fear, loathing, anger, scorn, various negative thoughts about myself, the urge to wear nothing but brown leaves. I will smile pretty and make nice because that is the professional thing to do, but it will also be a struggle to keep from a) punching him (not likely) and b) hating myself (very likely) because I know what they think of me. So many conflicting scary emotions, capped off with a whipped topping of delight – and all because one person chooses to judge me based on my cover and not the contents within.

I win, though – Creative asked me *back*. :D

the clam before the storm

Posted in everyday kimli by

It’s the quiet time between holidays, and I don’t like it. I’ve already cleaned up most of the mess made by the boys, and we traded our Annual Thortilöc Wyatt for the return of Josh for All Time, but things will be quiet around here until Friday when the celebrations begin anew.

Alla and I are continuing our silent protest against the Scrooge-like atmosphere in the Space Station, and we are working from home this week. I’m sitting here in a bathrobe and Diet Coke – I had a little accident – and I am quite content, if cold and wet. It’s good that I get some relaxation in while I still can, because the end of the year is going to be hectic and will lead to what I’ve already dubbed the January of Trepidation.

I have but four days of work next week to lay out my plans for world domination before I’m off to Las Vegas for six days. Upon my return, a new astronaut will be starting at our space station and will be placed in my capable (if tiny and mutated) hands. In between all this, we will welcome Shan to Vancouver for keeps and have a belated Thortilöc celebration with her and Josh, as well as going about our regular business and trying to keep my soul from being devoured by certain people. We’re also down to our Emergency Salsa, meaning we need to go to Costco. I have trepidation about it all.

Still, I’m looking forward to our festive three-day New Year’s plans before I jump into January completely naked.

warm thortilöc wishes

Posted in everyday kimli, nerd by

I really do enjoy Christmas. I know it’s all commercial and secular and blah blah blah let’s find problems with everything, but I love giving to my friends and loved ones and let’s face it, receiving is pretty darn awesome too. Someone suggested to me that Christmas was forced giving, but I don’t see it that way at all – it’s a chance for me to spoil people without being inappropriate (unless the gift itself is inappropriate, which, knowing me, is more likely to be the case than not). Not being Christian, I don’t celebrate Christmas with the whole baby Jesus aspect – I just see it as the time of year for fun and friends and gifts and pretty lights. I suppose I could make a big deal about it and come up with another name for the non-religious rituals we go through each year, but then I’d have to be all offended when people wished me a Merry Christmas instead of a Totally Tubular Thortilöc and frankly I just don’t have time for that kind of hassle.

Ed and I had our Annual Christmas Thortilöc Wyatt for the second year in a row, and we’ve been enjoying some good times. I made a fancy festive dinner that turned out quite lovely thank you, and now Ed and Wyatt are ROCKING OUT with Ed’s gift of Guitar Hero I and II from me and the cats. We still have two Thortilöc celebrations to go, too – there’s a pile of gifts under the tree going to Seattle, and we’ll party it up again when Josh and Shan are here for keeps in the new year. YAY! Thortilöc Time Fun for everyone!

I am completely fabulous, and as such, was spoiled accordingly. From Ed I received my long-coveted goatse ring from Tiffany’s (sorry Matt), an assortment of ginger goodies from Origins, and a Delilah Blackheart figurine from my desk. His parents play this game where they totally out-do themselves each year, and this was no exception – I received the 20th anniversary edition Optimus Prime, which is just fucking glorious. My collection now stretches to TWO shelves of Autobot leader goodness, and it makes me giddy in the pants to see so much awesome in my living room. I think there was some other stuff too, but I’m really just overwhelmed with it all. I LOVE the Thortilöc season, and it’s only just begun – next up is a trip to Seattle for assorted debauchery and sightseeing, and before I know it I’ll be off to Las Vegas for six freakin’ days of hard work and hard fun. Have I mentioned lately that I love my life? Because for all my angst and woe, it really is quite a lot of fun to be me.

I hope everyone had an excellent December 25th, regardless of what (if anything) you choose to celebrate!

time for jollies

Posted in everyday kimli by

We picked up our Annual Christmas Wyatt at the train station today, and with that our holiday season has officially begun. In just a few moments we are going to get into our fancies and go out for some STEAK because meat is tasty. My heart wants me to be a vegetarian, but the rest of me loooooooves meat. I’ve been craving steak something fierce lately, and tonight my needs as well as my stomach will be fulfilled. Yum.

Someone Jesus’d us twice in the Wal-Mart parking lot today. Does that mean I’ve been saved twice, or do they cancel each other out?

where’s my sausage?

Posted in angst, i'm an astronaut by

It’s hard enough to find something to eat in Yuppie Town that doesn’t come with caviar and a Lexus or cost more than my annual salary without having to worry that the food you DO order is going to come out all wrong and nasty. I ordered a sausage roll (it was that or the fois gras truffle platter), but she gave me a veggie roll instead. I want my sausage. This is the second time I’ve been foiled in my quest for sausage, and I am just as unamused now as I was then – less, in fact. What a rotten Friday.

Alla and I are planning a mass mutiny at the Space Station. It’s the Friday before Christmas, and no one seems to be in any kind of festive mood at all – everyone here is quietly and diligently working away instead of falling down with liquid happy. Our plan was to have an office party today that would be large with the merry, but our brilliant ideas were shot down in Scrooge-flavoured flames. The rest of the city is getting off early today to start their holiday season, but we’re still sitting here in our cold, silent, undecorated office. It’s depressing. We’re plotting to storm out and leave early, space be damned – we want to have some fun, even if we have to go find it ourselves.

We’re also a little pouty because no one thought to remember us in the spirit of giving to your minions this holiday season. It’s not like we were expecting diamond tiaras or shiny gold lamé space suits or anything, but any gesture at all would have been nice – a card, a candy cane, a festive kick in the ass with a lead boot. It’s so un-merry around here I could cry, and Alla and I are both feeling a little unappreciated. We want some love, damnit. People would be surprised at the benefits reaped by just a little foresight and calculated thanks – even the smallest act of appreciation makes for happy employees. It’s not that we’re UNhappy, but .. y’know. Everyone likes to feel valued and remembered.

Oh well. I have a bottle of holiday spirit at home in my fridge; I’ll just leave work early and go appreciate myself until I’m exhausted and out of lube.

deck the halls with balls o’ plenty

Posted in everyday kimli, nerd by

Our Space Station had a little get together at the Lead Cosmonaut’s house last night. As a result, half the station is mysteriously absent and the other half is wincing at loud noises and shying away from bright lights. I am in the latter group as well, but for different reasons – I slept badly on my neck, and woke up with a very bad headache. Try explaining this to people who are hung over, though, and you’ll get a lot of blank stares and sly winks. It’s true, regardless of their vodka-fueled haze – I have a bad headache. Even if I DID get hangovers (which I don’t), the insignificant amount I drank last night (two store-mixed novelty shooters with the potency of fermented Kool-Aid) certainly didn’t cause this kind of suffering, since I not only drove home but was fine right up until my alarm clock went off. Ow, my head. Could you please read this a little quieter? Thanks.

It is time for a new digital camera. My current one, an HP 707R, was brought forth from the rectal cavity of the very devil himself and it is time to cleanse myself of this unholy piece of garbage in favour of something that oh I don’t know, maybe takes pictures instead of delivering image after image of nothing but black.

I’ve narrowed it down to five options, each more meticulously analyzed than the last. The current forerunners are:

  • The Nikon Coolpix S10
  • Panasonic Lumix DMC-TZ1
  • Canon PowerShot A710 IS
  • Canon PowerShot S3 IS
  • Canon PowerShot SD700 IS Digital ELPH

The camera I end up with has to be relatively small (I have tiny mutant elf hands); it must have image stabilization (I really do love caffeine), and it has to take a damn fine picture (because I can never have too many self portraits and pictures of my cats). I’ve read all the online reviews and have feedback on the S3 and the SD700 from people I trust, but I still can’t decide between the five. Help!

There’s one camera that I really do want – the Fujifilm Finepix Z5FD – but they pushed the release date back to March and I can’t wait that long. Ideally, I’ll have a new camera in my grubby tiny hands before I go to Vegas. I haven’t exactly asked Santa for one, but I think I’m getting some Christmas money from my mom which’ll go towards taking incriminating photos of her son-in-law naked. Weiner shots are totally awesome. Would you like to see some? Go on, treat yourself. You deserve it.