I got bored. What do you think?

I think my mom has a crush! The guy who walked in on me in the shower in Victoria (he was there to replace the fridge, had to pee, and mom sent him to the bathroom not knowing I was all about the wet and naked in there) is a widower, and mom keeps talking about him and saying she’s going to give him a call to invite him for coffee or something. Cute! Go, mom! Mack up that refrigerator man!

In my time of neediness, I find myself craving the ridiculous foods that I ate when I was wee. Last night at 10:30, I had a wicked urge for a tuna sandwich so I made one up and ate it with the absolutely essential plain ruffled potato chips. Okay, that’s a relatively normal meal; one my dad used to make for me when I’d come home from school for lunch. Tasty and nostalgic, plus fun for the cats since they get most of the can of tuna from me. However, nothing I can say will ever justify what I just ate with relish (literal relish, not physical – I do have SOME standards): a potato chip sandwich.

I don’t know how or why I started eating these, but at some point in my misguided and carb-laden youth, I thought it would be a fantastic idea to stick some of the above-mentioned plain ruffled chips in a piece of white bread and chomp away. And it’s yummy. Disgusting, yes and certainly not anything I eat with any sort of regularity, but I do enjoy myself a potato chip sandwich from time to time. Like, right now. Mmm!

What disgusting things do you eat by yourself in the dark, away from prying eyes and horrified onlookers? French fries in ice cream don’t count; I eat that in public. Potato chip sandwiches though have only ever been eaten before Ed, with a face full of shame, crumbs, and more than just a little bit of internal satisfaction.