Hey, everyone! Here’s a little quiz!

It’s 1 in the morning on a weeknight. You’re drunk, you’re old, you’re having a conversation with a deaf man outside your apartment door, in the hallway. If someone asks you to please take your conversation inside, should your appropriate answer be:

a)    “Oh I’m so sorry, I didn’t realize what time it was!”
b)    Say nothing, but go inside your apartment and close the door
c)    “Put a sock in it, I’ve lived here for 14 years and I’m talking to a deaf gentleman”

If you’ve answered C, then you are Drunk Betty and please stop reading the internet and instead oh I don’t know, stop being so damn drunk and old and loud. Living here for 14 years does NOT give you any kind of power over us impertinent whippersnappers; you’re TALKING LIKE THIS right outside our apartment door and it’s so loud I expect to find you in bed with us. I hate you, Drunk Betty. You are quite beyond belief.

Hello to the lovely people who seem to be descending upon my humble juice box in large numbers – I don’t know where you’re coming from or why, but I am certainly not complaining. Hello to you! Pull up a chair and grab a bottle of wine!

So hey, it turns out that I somehow – completely unintentionally, of course – bought two copies of the new Transformers movie on DVD. It’s not like I bought one, then went to another store and realized THEY were selling an exclusive edition in a fancy tin case or anything – no, it was a complete accident. Quite embarrassing. How silly of me. Anyway, I have two copies of the film and I’d like to give one away. Of course, I’m going to make you work for it because I am mean like that. If you’d like a chance to have me send you stuff, here’s what you have to do:

Write me a haiku about Delicious Juice Dot Com and post it in my comments below. I’ll keep it going until Sunday at 6pm PST, then pick my favourite and you’ll get a prize. Please try to keep the haikus to a maximum of three entries per person, and I’ll be quite offended if you censor yourself in any way. I know it’s not the grandest of prizes, but haikus are easy to write and really fun. So, um. Yes. Have at it, then.

Contest is void if you’re Drunk Betty, because I don’t like you.