Daily Archives: October 30, 2007

abrupt 180

Posted in everyday kimli, nerd by

I swear I am not bi-polar:

(Josh, don’t read this) We placed a huge Think Geek order on Saturday, and it arrived this morning. Holy shit in a flying whore hat, that’s fast. Plus! Although we paid the 300% increase in shipping to have it sent to Canada so’s we didn’t have to bother Ali again and it came by UPS, they didn’t charge us extra for the privilege of their services! This never happens; UPS likes to charge me a lot of money when they bring me things I’ve already paid money for. However, I’m starting to notice that the more you pay in ridiculous shipping costs OR the more expensive the item, the happier the boys in brown are to just give you the package and send you on your merry way. Cases in point:

  • Free swag sent to me by Speakeasy: $55 in brokerage fees
  • Necklace I bought online for $40: $7 in brokerage fees
  • Fancy and expensive jewellery with free shipping: Nothing
  • Giant box of delightfully geeky goodness and $40 in shipping: Nothing

I am starting to hate UPS a little less!

Since I am in a much better mood (Paul the Favouritest Postman also brought me two things off my Waiting List, plus the new issue of Nintendo Power), I will finally announce the winner of the Delicious Juice Dot Haiku Contest:

It dawned on me after I posted the contest that I *hate* doing contests because I always feel so bad picking one person over another. You would not believe the guilt I have – it is huge and throbbing. I’m sorry! I really am! Please don’t hate me for picking a favourite!

That being said, I cheated and picked two favourites.

The most excellent ‘nee hit the nostalgic chord with her entry of:

listening to RENT!
me mom and morgentaler
along Oak Bay Drive

And Ali made me squee with her entries, but especially:

Kimli is the queen
In her universe of juice
Ruled by heaving boobs

So I will send a copy of Transformers to ‘nee, and get another copy to bring to Ali’s place this weekend. Compromise! Thank you all who wrote me a haiku; they were completely awesome. If I was employed, I would have bought copies for everyone because I hate having to pick just one favourite, but I am poor so I can’t and I am sorry. :( !

I like being in a good mood much more than never-ending rage. I don’t even care that I just spilled a cup or so of salsa down my shirt!

drunk with fury

Posted in medical anomaly by

I am thinking about going back on my brain medication.

I do not want to do this. However, since coming off, I’ve noticed the following:

  • I just can’t live without rageahol – I am angry damn near all the time. I am angry at people and places and things. I find myself wishing someone would throw a punch at me just so I have an excuse to go all postal. It doesn’t necessarily have to be a punch, either – go on, cut me off on my scooter or change lanes into me. I WILL WISH THAT I COULD FUCK YOU UP
  • My casual swearing has increased by 400%, and has gone up in volume – I am no longer discrete about describing run of the mill things peppered with things like “holy mother of fuck”, “this is the best shit fucking son of a cunt sandwich I’ve ever had”, and “hey, your mom’s a whore – did I mention I saw an eagle yesterday?”
  • Things that may have mildly annoyed me while medicated are infuriating now
  • I am much more dissatisfied with my life than before, possibly because of my ongoing fury
  • I have much more disgust for the things, people, ideas, lifestyles, I find distasteful, rude or stupid. Normally this would be a non-issue, except see bullet points 2 and 3.
  • Normal people would be disappointed that they can’t get a dog. I am blindingly, wildly, viciously, fumingly, violently mad about it. Do you want to fight? I will fight you over it. I am small but insane, and my tiny mutant elf hands could do a lot of damage.
  • Angry. Angry. Angry. Did I mention that I’m angry? Maybe it’s just left over from last night’s festivities, but I am angry.

So, yeah. Maybe I’m not crazy after all, I’m just plain mad to an unhealthy degree. Good thing you’d never know it to look at me.

Cheery stupid happy updates will return soon, I promise.