frozen and loathed

Ed hates me. It’s the only reason I can think of as to why he is purposefully trying to freeze me to death. I’ve asked him numerous times now to close the bedroom window because it’s cold in here, but he won’t do it – and I *can’t* do it. I’m an independent woman; I can handle my own finances and buy my own baubles and pay someone else to change my own tire, but I need him to do this for me. I physically cannot close the window because I am too damn short, and I have tiny T-Rex arms. He hasn’t done it yet and audibly refused to do it on one occasion, so I am sitting here freezing my entire being off. Ed sucks! I am very, very cold! Socks and fuzzy bathrobes are not helping. If Ed doesn’t close the bedroom window soon, I am going to light his stuff on fire and bask in the warmth it’ll bring!

Brrrr! :(

who stole my words?

I have a really, really stupid question.

Does anyone own this book? If you do, can you please turn to page 87?

Is half your page gone, like this?

Given the author of the book and the subject of this chapter – SEX – I honestly can’t tell if the rip is deliberate. I mean, it’s the first page of the chapter on dirty, filthy sex. Ed thinks my book is just fucked up, whereas I think it’s probably fucked up but I’ve seen books with humourous “edits” like this before and I can’t tell if this is supposed to be like this, or if Amazon sent me a damaged book. So, um, please check your copy and let me know. Thanks!

Ed’s company party is tonight, so I have to go make myself presentable. This involves a great deal of glitter and shellac. I am a sparkly, sparkly princess.