delicious juice dot com: unapologetically inappropriate

I need to have more adventures. It seems like everyone’s life is more exciting than mine – Josh got to witness some old gay man hookups while hiking, and Miranda gets to keep excellent company with an evangelical Christian for a week. Me? Well, I have Diet Coke. It’s just not the same.

Oh, wait – I have more than Diet Coke; I have page after page of badly written Exchange documentation I have to recreate from scratch. YEAH! It is clearly awesome to be me!

I have faith, though. I find blistering humour in things that are commonplace or terrifying to other people, so I just need to bide my time. My extremely irrelevant sense of self means that I am almost always highly inappropriate, and that makes seemingly everyday situations play out like a very bad movie. As well, the weather is slowly warming up which means outdoor good times – there’s ample opportunity for horrible (but funny) things to happen to me there. And! In just over two weeks, the Angels and I will be heading back to the potato farm for further investigation and staggering amounts of hilarity is to be had in naked farmers having group sex. I will find that cauldron, damnit.

In the meantime, I will ask questions about cheese.

Last night in a fit of whimsy I bought some mini mini Bocconcini (apparently it is really small, hence the need to emphasize the mini mini). Now what? I am not generally a cheese person at all, but once I had some sort of grilled bocconcini and it was good and now I want more. I have a tub of tiny cheese in brine; how do I make it taste good?

Cheese is hilarious. See?