desire > common sense

Grand Theft Auto IV is launching at midnight, and I kinda want to go. I’ve never been to a midnight launch before, and while I really expect it’s going to be nothing more than sleepy employees and excited neck beards standing in line in a deserted mall, I’m tempted. I also desperately want to bring a decanter of coffee with me, and offer up Hot Coffee to anyone who wants it. I am hilarious, you see.

Ooh – if I decide to go to the launch, I’ll have a perfect excuse to NAP when I get home from work. I am the Master of the Nap – it doesn’t matter how much sleep I got or the time of day or how much caffeine I just had; put me in bed and stick a cat on my ass and I’m out cold within 15 minutes. Of course, I can’t sleep when it’s bed time for reals, but I’ve learned to function anyway. And tonight if I can’t sleep, I’ll have a new video game to play. It makes perfect sense for me to go to the mall at midnight. I’d be a fool NOT to go!

Now that I’ve talked myself into it, it’s time to convince Josh he needs to come with me and that he should bring a baseball bat, just in case.

a very bad idea

I’ve had some astonishingly bad ideas in my day. There was that time I saw a break-in happening across the street and tried to get closer so I could watch; that one time I decided to give up sleep just to see what would happen; that other time I thought it might be a good idea to skip a week’s worth of birth control then take them all at once. And just today, when I decided to ride Oscar into work even though the forecast called for rain – that could definitely count as a very, very bad idea.

I think my first clue that perhaps I am not as smart as I claim to be came when water started dripping down my legs and pooling in my shoes. I squelch when I walk. The ass towel I made so many jokes about last week would come in very handy right now; I am soaked all the way through and getting my chair soggy. Wet denim is very heavy, and I am unfathomably uncomfortable.

I had to put out a call for Emergency Pants. Luckily for me, Miranda was around and had to go out this morning anyway, so she is answering my desperate plea for help. If she wasn’t available, I would either a) have to go home (not really an option since I have a full schedule today), or b) call Ed and ask him to go to a Lululemon or something and buy me some yoga pants. This is not fun. I wish I was warm and dry.

To be fair, it started out as a light drizzle. It wasn’t until I was almost at the bridge when it started to rain for real, and shortly after that a fucking STORM blew through and the deluge started. Cars were pulling off to the side of the road on the causeway because the visibility was so poor and there was just so much water everywhere. Not me, though. Armed with little more than my “rain” jacket and good intentions, I kept going through the Calgary-style rainstorm on my scooter. What else could I do? I wasn’t going to get any wetter, and I was ¾ of the way to the Lab.

I am going to bring some Emergency Pants into work tomorrow.