I tried to wear PVC to work.

I say “tried”, because I got outside and made every effort to climb atop Oscar, fully intent on riding into work and testing my theory that my PVC skirt is at least a little more water resistant than my jeans – but things didn’t exactly go as planned.

I had made one fatal mistake in my calculations: my PVC skirt is fetish ware, not rain ware. The skirt might have held up very well in the rain, except it’s made for sexy times – when I got on Oscar, I immediately realized that this adventure in science wouldn’t be so much an attempt to stay dry as it would be a chance to air out my vagina and give the city of Vancouver a gynecological thrill it wouldn’t soon forget.

It must have been an epic sight, and I forgive the City of North Vancouver employees for snickering at me as I tried to leave for work. It likely isn’t every day they see a short round girl trying to climb on a scooter wearing a PVC skirt cut to her upper thigh, looking perplexed as she tries to coax the material into providing some semblance of decency.

Needless to say, this experiment in sexy time rain gear crossover science was a big fat fail.

I wonder if I could scoot in a corset.