Do you ever wish you had a more .. salacious past?

My own wanton past is nothing to sneer at (unlike my wonton past, which was really too salty and overcooked), but sometimes I wish I had taken more .. liberties with people. Especially when I was younger and completely oblivious to my own sexual charms.

I know the popular saying is “if I had known then what I know now”, but in my case, I think that knowledge would have NOT kept me out of trouble but rather have led to a great deal more nudity in mixed company.

Are you ever too old to indulge in your filthy, lustful daydreams?

On that note, does anyone want to make out?

I’m wearing polka-dotted shoes with pin-striped short pants.

Take that, society! I am thumbing my nose at you!