I’ve tried for a very long time to hold fast my morals and scruples and ethics, but at the end of the day all it gets me is a smug sense of self-imagined superiority and no fun toys. I don’t make any money off my website and will continue to stand firm and proud in my clearance bin pants and ramen noodles, but as of today I will officially be accepting products from various companies in exchange for a review or shout out.

I’ve done this in the past, of course, but on a more discreet scale. For some reason I’ve always felt slightly awkward about placing the Delicious Juice Stamp of Approval on things for fear of selling out to the man, but when you really look at it, who the hell is ever going to look for my personal thumbs up before they try something? I’m usually awash with false modesty, but let’s be realistic here: no one reads my website to learn about advances in personal gadgetry; they come for the hardcore nudity and swearing and also for the flow charts.

I feel that I must stress – probably needlessly, but I didn’t become a millionaire on my ability to hold things in – that my words will not change in any way. My style is still very much my own, regardless of what I’m writing about. Mops or boobs, fabric softener or scooters – it’s all Kimli, all the time. I don’t feel any sort of pressure for or against saying things like “this frozen creamed spinach is fucking awesome; I would totally have sex with it if I was ever in the mood to have carnal relations with leafy plants from Nepal” or to stop making broad sweeping generalizations with sly references to Star Trek and comic books I read once when I was 11. It’s all good. It just means I have a few more mystery packages on the way.

You’ll still love me if I sell out a little bit, right?