I don’t claim to be the smartest person you’ll ever meet, but sometimes I do things that are so bafflingly stupid that I honestly think I might be a danger to myself, if not others.

Yesterday, I had one of those moments.

Whether you’ve noticed it or not, Vancouver is gearing up for the 2010 Winter Olympics. We are T-10 days, and the entire city is abuzz with activity and intrigue. Security is at an unheard-of high – with the installation of 1,000 closed circuit cameras around the city, we are completely safe from everything except each other. Big Brother is likely watching you RIGHT NOW, so you should probably be on your best behaviour and don’t do anything to call attention to yourself.

Like, for example, accidentally leave a suspicious electronic device on public transit.

I made a post yesterday about being arrested, but as the Ministry of Love (miniluv!) hasn’t yet broken down my door, I may be safe.

What did I do? Well, at one point, I had several of these:

I bought them from ThinkGeek for Halloween, and they did the trick – creepy noises were made, and everything was hilarious and great. I kept one at the office well past October, mostly because I had forgotten about it. It started to die at some point, and it was then I discovered that it couldn’t be turned off – creepy noises were going to be made at random, and there was little I could do about it. Eventually, other people at work heard noises that shouldn’t be there, and asked that I deal with it – so I took it off my desk and made plans to bring it home.

It lived in my pocket for another few weeks, until yesterday. I found it in my pocket on the long ride into work, and spent much of the trip fiddling with it. I remember setting it on the window sill, using the magnet on the back to keep it from falling out of reach – and that’s it. The bus pulled up to my stop, and I hopped off to make my way to work.

Not really a big deal – I left a small mystery device on the bus in the middle of the biggest event this city has seen in many, many years when security is frighteningly high and watching us all with suspicious eyes, taser in hand.

What’s the worst that could happen?

No one has approached me yet to haul me off to Room 101, so I might be in the clear. It wasn’t intentional, just a stupid mistake – but what a thing to mistake, and what a time to do it. Take my advice, kids – don’t play with random electronic things, and if you do, try not to leave them in a public place in the middle of the Olympics.

That would just be stupid.

(please don’t tell on me)

There is no part of being stuck on a bus for an hour that is not awesome.

Except for all of it.

I am filled with trepidation and urine – the Olympics don’t start for another 10 days, and it’s already getting crazy in the core. I woke up early on purpose and took a bus that would have gotten me to work with plenty of time to spare – except the bus was late, the traffic was ridiculous, and things broke and caused a conga line in Gastown. I’ve been waiting for the weather to make up its mind one way or another so I can scoot, but I’m starting to think that this won’t be as foolproof a plan as I had hoped. Maybe I’ll just try to look crazy. Everyone always avoids the crazy person.

While I’m not doing anything for the Olympics in any sort of official manner, I WILL be blogging throughout the event. I’m accredited as a “Social Reporter”, which is not as fancy (but much more fun) as it sounds – but I get to make a badge and pretend I’m media, so that will be fun. Also, I’m one of the few people who can deliver Olympic observations with the sheer irrelevance they deserve, so clearly you should stick around.

I haven’t decided if I’m getting excited about the event yet, but I DID take the 12th off of work. I’m planning on just .. hanging out. I want to see what goes on downtown. The opening ceremonies don’t start until 5pm, but I imagine a whole lot of people will be arriving on that day. If the weather cooperates, I’m planning on scooting around town and watching the fun.  Maybe I’ll get arrested! I’ve been trying awfully hard, but The Law hasn’t caught up to me yet!

*ahem* I don’t really care about sports, but maybe this will be worth watching after all.