Today is an excellent mail day – by 10am, I had received not one but four exciting things in the mail:
- A box full of gnomes
- A postcard from Mike in Switzerland, where he had eaten his weight in cheese by day two
- A letter from the parking elves telling me as of July 1st I’ll be paying 35.52% tax on Lola’s parking spot downtown and if you are outraged you ought to Do Something About It by contacting someone else (this was not all that exciting)
- Five new merit badges from my secret secondary source (don’t tell Nerd Merit Badges that I had an affair):
- Camp Sex
- Drunk Texting
- Drinking Alone
- Attacked by a Squirrel
- Bacon Appreciation
- Included with the merit badges were a series of TERRIFYING POSTCARDS featuring Urban Beasts in nightmarish poses
I like good mail days. This, plus a 3-day work week, make for a good Monday morning.
coincidentally, all these badges were earned on one epic night
