I realize the whole Team Edward/Team Jacob crap didn’t start with Twilight – remember the Team Aniston/Team Jolie wars from the mid 00’s? – but that doesn’t mean that it’s not annoying. It’s far too big to fight now though, so I think instead we should repurpose the phrase to show what side of famous debates we are on. While I admit that I am on both Team Mac *and* Team PC, there are plenty of other Teams recruiting:

• Pro-Choice or Pro-Life? How about Team Abortion and Team Tiny American Flags instead?
• Oh, the sparks will fly when Team Transit and Team Personal Vehicle run into each other (hopefully not literally)!
• Team York or Team Sargent? I just can’t decide!
• Team Chunky or Team Smooth? The fate of the spreadable nut industry hangs in the balance!
• Team iPhone or Team Why Bother? Which one are YOU?
• I’m totally on Team Sodomy, but I can understand the reluctance to wear the shirt – luckily, Team Vanilla doesn’t have to worry about these things
• I’m still undecided about my evening – who offers the better time, Team Home Depot for Shelving and Maybe Dinner at Boston Pizza because it’s Pasta Tuesday, or Team Stay Home and Play Video Games in my Underwear While Eating Frozen Pizza? It’s so hard to choose!

There’s no reason your life can’t be chockfull of excitement and membership – don’t bemoan your indecisive nature; simply look carefully at both sides and join a Team today!

Team Soup has NOTHING on Team Salad, I’ll tell you that much.

Const. Jamie Bartlett of the West Vancouver Police Department, who made among the highest number of arrests for drunk driving last year, knows all too well about losing cases on technicalities.

“The defense can make things difficult, especially for a junior officer. It’s very frustrating,” said Bartlett.

In one case, “This person had done a U-turn on the Lions Gate Bridge to avoid the roadblock, then failed the roadside test, then blew three times the legal limit,” he said. But when it got to court a year later, “I couldn’t come up with the proper wording to explain how I formed my grounds (for believing the driver was impaired). The case got thrown out.”

.. either this happens a lot, or this was the person that Ed and I saw last year that a) almost killed us and b) we ratted out to the check stop police. We were on our way home to North Van and had just come off the Lions Gate Bridge when the minivan in front of us SLAMMED on his brakes as the road block ahead came into view. We swerved at the last possible second to avoid a collision, and watched in utter disgust as the car backed up, crossed several lanes of traffic, and zoomed off in the opposite direction. As soon as we got to the stop we told the cops what we saw, and they were *very* interested – they radio’d the info and sent someone off down the road. Looks like it was all for naught though, as the case got thrown out. And that fucking sucks.

Seriously, FUCK drunk drivers. Your right to get wasted does not trump my right to live – anyone who drinks alcohol and gets behind the wheel of a car is the lowest form of scum. They shouldn’t be allowed rights and due process; it should be a “one strike and you’re out” thing. People are whining because the province has introduced new rules for drinking and driving – it’s a breach of our RIGHTS, it’s not FAIR, I’m a self-righteous ASSHOLE who doesn’t care about anything beyond that awesome booze. FUCK you guys. I’m too disgusted with a society that encourages this kind of behavior (which in my mind is anything less than jail time/loss of vehicle and license/enormous fines upon the first offense) to really be coherent and verbose about it – people who choose to drink and get behind the wheel of a car do not deserve second chances or loopholes or forgiveness. The people they kill certainly didn’t a second chance; why should they?

FUCK drunks.