this! is! strata!

There’s nothing worse than having plans when all you want to do is go home and hide under the covers until spring – except maybe having boring plans that you can’t get out of. I’m having a pretty bad day, and I’m fighting a losing battle with my instinct to flee. I would cut a bitch to be able to go home, grab a cat or two and have myself a good old fashioned naked mopey evening complete with a tub of ice cream and sad songs, but I can’t – I have to go to a strata meeting.

This will be my first ever strata meeting. Everything I know about these things comes from TV – I will be sorely disappointed if there are no loud women in bedazzled holiday sweaters, small dogs in costly outfits, enraged bald men and old nosy women with lists of everyone’s transgressions. Perhaps there will also be cookies; the kind that come in the blue tin. We’ve been asked to bring our own chairs, which doesn’t bode well – our lobby is already kind of a sauna; I can’t imagine what it’ll be like after an hour or two of every tenant yelling about rules that they and no one else should be allowed to break. I would sorely love to skip the meeting and do something more constructive with my time, like nap or write letters to Santa, but instead I’ll be downstairs trying to look like I care whether the siding is pressure washed twice a year or three times.

Good times.

 

 

i’ve got rage*

.. and it’s FREAKING ME OUT.

Not because of the gameplay, although growling zombutants (um, that’s zombies + mutants; not zombies + debutantes) jumping out at you is kind of scary – but because the game is HUGE, and now I have less than 10GB free on my phone.

In what I affectionately refer to as “iOCD”, I am constantly afraid of running out of free space on my phone. This would be a valid worry if I was down to my last free GB, but I don’t do things logically around here: it was bad enough when I went below 11GB free, but BELOW TEN?! Oh god, I’m going to hyperventilate. Why does Rage have to be so BIG? I went from 10.3 to 9.1!

nightmares!

I was only partially kidding about getting an iPod Nano so I could a) wear it like a watch and b) remove all my music from my phone, giving me an additional 9GB to install apps, but now my fancy may have to become reality if only to ease my ridiculous panicked mind.

All that being said, holy CRAP Rage is astounding. Check these out:

intro scene - click to embiggen

start of gameplay - click to embiggen

a sweet little southern belle (who wants you to click to embiggen)

These pictures are from my PHONE; a fancier version of the device I was using 5 years ago to play a pixelated and chunky knock-off of Centipede. The game itself plays beautifully without a hiccup or stutter in sight, and it’s just .. incredible. I know I’m on record as being disappointed in Rage at PAX10, and while it’s the same series, my previous words can’t be held against me: Rage the Big is a PC/Console game that happens to look identical to Fallout 3, whereas Rage on the App Store is a new experience – just LOOK at this.

I know this isn’t my App Blog, but Rage is available for the iDevice – $0.99 for the non-HD version (537mb; suitable for the 3 or 3GS) and $1.99 for the HD version (944mb; plays on the iPad and is reportedly passable on a 3GS). If you’ve ever played an FPS and have fond memories of Doom or Quake, or simply want something to blow your mind, you should be getting Rage today. The future may be a post-nuclear wasteland, but it sure is pretty!

*: admit it – you thought this post was going to be about something else entirely, didn’t you. something, say, related to the post below? and the resulting comments? nope, sorry. :)

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