I saw a recycling box walking around downtown this morning. I wasn’t drunk or anything, but there it was – a large blue recycling box man wearing a cape depicting various things you could stick into his opening. I will have to make a note to invite the recycling box man to my All Out No Holds Barred Corporate Mascot Brawl, because I can’t be the only person who would pay good money to see the Church’s Chicken pounding on the Serta Mattress Sheep.

I am very grumpy today and I’m not really sure why. I know it probably has to do with things I need for my various professional lives that people have and are not providing me with, coupled with a healthy dose of the pre-travel wiggles and my always-present stage fright. I am somewhat soothed, though, by this penis-shaped Aqua Pet Josh gave me. It’s chirping at me like it wants something, but my only two options are the button shaped like a heart and the one shaped like a chili pepper. Maybe it wants chili peppers, but really – who DOESN’T want chili peppers? I know I sure do. Quick, someone press my button.

I need sleep, some Diet Coke, lunch, to finish packing, and money. All these things will come to me in time, but I bet I would get money even faster if I actually submitted my invoice instead of sitting here pressing buttons and cursing at my space clients under my breath. I am a cranky internet solider today. I don’t blame you if you want to punch me in the box (but please don’t because the last thing I need is a bruised box on top of everything else marbling in my ass today).