I fought the turbids, and barring any nasty complications involving parasites and blood transfusions, I seem to have won.

Last night I was utterly fed up with the water restrictions, so I had a bath – turbids be damned. I didn’t exactly want to look at the water, especially if it had that pee-like tinge to it, so I used an excessive amount of bubble bath to hide any nasty things that might be lurking below. I soaked and relaxed and said “OW OW OW” a lot due to the series of really nasty self-inflicted scratches on my right leg that I’m starting to fear are becoming infected. The hot water and floating turbids really irritated the scratches, but other than that the bath was very nice. I might even do it again tonight. I am totally living on the edge.

Every once in a while I climb down from my Soapbox of Musical Snobbery and dabble in the things commoners listen to. Usually I can, to some level, appreciate the catchiness and angst-free beats of some of the more commercially viable songs. I’ve been known to listen to some truly awful music (all in the name of irony, of course) and privately shake my booty to pop songs that, officially, I am far too cool to ever listen to.

Lately, I’ve been guilty of listening to some of Fergie’s solo stuff. I was briefly intrigued by the sheer audacity of her shiny packaged street cred, but then started to “enjoy” the songs when taken with a smirk and a wiggle. Then I heard the title track from her album, “Fergalicious”.

Throughout the song, the Black Eyed Peas dude is spelling things in the background rhythmically. One of the things he’s spelling is “delicious”, which I can appreciate for obvious reasons. The other word he’s spelling is “tasty”.

Except he spells it “t-a-s-t-e-y”.

This fills me with rage, so very much rage. I turned to the internet for an explanation for this glaring and horrible lapse in basic grade 3 English skills, but I found only this quote:

will.i.am is repeatedly misspelling tasty t-a-s-t-e-y in order to, according to Fergie, “keep it stupid”.

Oh. Oh, oh no. Given the amount of rage I fly into when faced with wandering apostrophes and misused quotation marks, intentional spelling errors make me feel as though someone has punched me in the box repeatedly and without mercy. It hurts. A lot.

This song is everything that is wrong with America today.