It’s hard enough to find something to eat in Yuppie Town that doesn’t come with caviar and a Lexus or cost more than my annual salary without having to worry that the food you DO order is going to come out all wrong and nasty. I ordered a sausage roll (it was that or the fois gras truffle platter), but she gave me a veggie roll instead. I want my sausage. This is the second time I’ve been foiled in my quest for sausage, and I am just as unamused now as I was then – less, in fact. What a rotten Friday.

Alla and I are planning a mass mutiny at the Space Station. It’s the Friday before Christmas, and no one seems to be in any kind of festive mood at all – everyone here is quietly and diligently working away instead of falling down with liquid happy. Our plan was to have an office party today that would be large with the merry, but our brilliant ideas were shot down in Scrooge-flavoured flames. The rest of the city is getting off early today to start their holiday season, but we’re still sitting here in our cold, silent, undecorated office. It’s depressing. We’re plotting to storm out and leave early, space be damned – we want to have some fun, even if we have to go find it ourselves.

We’re also a little pouty because no one thought to remember us in the spirit of giving to your minions this holiday season. It’s not like we were expecting diamond tiaras or shiny gold lamé space suits or anything, but any gesture at all would have been nice – a card, a candy cane, a festive kick in the ass with a lead boot. It’s so un-merry around here I could cry, and Alla and I are both feeling a little unappreciated. We want some love, damnit. People would be surprised at the benefits reaped by just a little foresight and calculated thanks – even the smallest act of appreciation makes for happy employees. It’s not that we’re UNhappy, but .. y’know. Everyone likes to feel valued and remembered.

Oh well. I have a bottle of holiday spirit at home in my fridge; I’ll just leave work early and go appreciate myself until I’m exhausted and out of lube.