My quest to become the single lamest person in all of Las Vegas has begun! As soon as I stepped off the plane, I made a bee line for – a bookstore. I bought two books! I am excited to read them! I will do that while every other person in this city is partying hearty!

My hotel room (which is huge; apparently I’ve fooled people into thinking I deserve luxury) has a view of the Strip. Specifically, when I tilt my head to the right, I can see MGM Grand and also the Coca Cola and M&M museums. I’m pretty sure I was hungry BEFORE I checked in; now I am famished and also thirsty. I will be visiting the food court next; I hear they have pizza. That’s exotic, right? It comes from Italy?

As soon as I got into my room, I unpacked my laptop and started sniffing around for internet. Did you know they expect people to pay $11.99 a DAY for internet access? That is information superhighway robbery. I will instead try to steal brief unsecured connections when I can; long enough to check email and post words. I wish internet access was free. I do not have $11.99 a day.

Now that I’m here and safe and hungry, I am very tired. I don’t know when or where I’m supposed to be tomorrow. Perhaps I should try to find out (although it would be significantly easier if I had internet access).