Finally, my doctor prescribed me the one thing I’ve truly needed for a long time: medicine that will make me pee more.

I saw Dr. Safari last night (no sign of the Latino Sherpa though) for a refill of the anti-crazy, and she took my blood pressure because I think she really enjoys doing it. The last several times I’d been in for my various herpes my blood pressure clocked in high – I just attributed it to my near-constant rage at the world around me, or that I always seemed to be having a terrible day when I had to go to the doctor. Last night was no exception; my panties were in a mighty bunch over the various ways in which Ed had done me wrong. My seemingly constant high score worried Dr. Safari though, so she prescribed me half a low dose of some drug that, among other things, will make me pee like a jolly fiend. It’s also reputed to increase my sensitivity to sunlight, so I’m going to be a hypertensive pee-crazy vampire in danger of heart attacks and kidney failure. Hooray!