Ed, while tolerate of my website in that he rarely asks me for details on my day’s events anymore because he knows I will just stare at him and point to the internet, sometimes complains that I never write about him unless I am angry and wanting the world to know how much he is not going to get into my divine woman flower any time soon. He does have a point – it’s easier to complain when things are not going well than it is to be textually chipper when things are just hunky-dory, which is the norm. So, in the spirit of soothing the savage ego, here is a list of Reasons Why I Like Ed:
- He is awfully nice to me even when I don’t really deserve it
- He usually smells good
- He brings me Diet Coke refills whenever I ask, sometimes even when I don’t ask
- He makes me laugh
- When I pull his finger he makes farting noises which the four year old in me finds absolutely fucking hilarious
- When I pull his finger he doesn’t *actually* fart, which would completely horrify me
- He doesn’t watch me pee (long story, honest)
- He seems tentatively open to our getting a pug
- Two words: giant man-root
- Knows and accepts that his wife is a complete gadget whore who frequently falls asleep surrounded by not one but four completely essential and necessary wireless getting-to-the-internet devices
- Gives excellent hugs
- Doesn’t seem to mind when I spend entire car trips making up songs about the things I see out the window
- Made me chicken noodle soup last night to combat my Norwalk sarspox
- Is generally an all-round cool dude
Awww. Don’t you want to just throw up in your mouth a little? I know I do every time I read mushy gushy love crap about significant others. So, in honour of cleaning out my mouth a little AND making sure the above praise doesn’t go to Ed’s head, here is a list of Things About Ed That Are Currently Driving Me Bat-Shit INSANE:
- WHERE THE HELL IS MY DRY CLEANING
- WHY THE HELL WON’T YOU GET YOUR GODDAMN PASSPORT – I SWEAR TO GOD I AM GOING TO INVITE PERFECT STRANGERS TO ACCOMPANY ME ON OUR BIG ANNIVERSARY SINCE YOU WON’T BE ALLOWED TO LEAVE THE COUNTRY AND HEY WHO WOULDN’T WANT TO SPEND A WEEK IN HAWAII WITH BALKI AND COUSIN LARRY
I feel better now.
delicious juice dot com 
I’ve been pestering my husband to get a passport since 2000 when I got mine to go to Japan… without him. He even has the passport photos (has had them for about a year) and STILL hasn’t done shit to get a passport.
Next time you want to go someplace special, let me know. We can go far away from the boys and then take pictures of us blowing raspberries as we mack on the locals. Of course, it would have to be further than Hawaii since I can do that without a passport.
Oh… and… Ed is pretty awesome in spite of him losing the dry cleaning and not getting a passport. I agree that he gives fantastic hugs. He’s one of those “envelopers” when it comes to hugging – like a security hug or something. If teddybears could hug! That’s it. And I don’t mean teddybear in the “omg so large and squishy I could just melt into you” but more in the “knows how to be soft and cuddly and protective.”
Uhm… I’m not hitting on your husband. I swear. Okay, maybe just a little bit.
Aw…. Bat Shit insane! I want a husband again.