Outside smells like bacon, and I am ravenous. Our office is right across the street from a White Spot, and I guess they are having a bacon party to which we are not invited. I am sad. Sad and hungry. Surely somewhere out there, there is bacon for me.

If I were to have one complaint about my otherwise incredible, awesome, appreciated, excellent, marvelous scooter parking spot at the new Space Station, it would be this: it is awkward to retrieve my scooter at the end of the day. See, the bottom floor of our building is owned by a yoga studio. Every day at 5 when I stroll out to fetch Sally, there is a class deep in the middle of their daily yoga workout. Since the wall that I walk past and park Sally in front of is in fact a window, I have to try very hard to avoid looking the 30 or so sweaty crotches square in the eye as I do my thing. It is awkward. The yoga studio practices “hot yoga” meaning the heat is cranked and people are wearing very little. Far be it from me to ever complain about sweaty crotches, but there are so very many of them – YOU try not feeling funny when there are two dozen half fishes staring into your soul. Go on, try it. I’ll wait.

Yesterday I saw a car with “District Attorney” emblazoned across the side, and I laughed to myself – seriously, who drives a car with their job title splashed across it? Then it dawned on me that my business card does in fact say “Internet Superstar” on it, and so does my messenger bag – while it’s not on my car, it’s still a form of advertising. I officially take back my laugh, since I’m guilty of exactly the same thing. Still, I’d much rather advertise myself or some excellent form of irony instead of a brand name. I can’t remember the last time I wore an obvious brand name. I am not a human billboard, no matter how big my ass is.

I got a new messenger bag this week, but I can’t show it yet because it is not ready. Soon, though – perhaps tonight. It is truly excellent, and the hilarity will stretch long and wide – pretty much exactly like this.

I was trying to find a title for this post when I stumbled upon the Naked Yoga wiki entry. Normally I would suggest that you not try it at home, but if the option is trying it in public, then PLEASE try it in the privacy of your own home and not in my general area because wow.