Ed claims to love me, but he is still frequently and heartlessly denying my pleas for a pug. I really want a pug, you see. Ed, who clearly hates me and never wants me to be happy ever again, does not want a dog because it would interfere with his book burning and baby eating activities. He is an evil nasty boy who does not love me one bit, and he makes me cry. Boo at Ed. Boooooo.

Since I do not have a pug, I have had to make do with my other pets:

I am amused at how weird people think I am for my snails.

WHY is my brother forwarding me religious-themed junk spam? I am tempted to reply with this, but that would mean acknowledging that I receive his frequent kitten-filled “I am thinking of you, forward this to 10 people to let them know you caaaaaare” messages. Which I don’t. Care, that is. I am bitter and jaded and not at all close to my family. Take that, adorable kittens!

If any of my 7 readers happen to be in the UK and stumble upon the items in the link below, I will be your best friend forever if you were to somehow obtain the two drives for me. I know I just replaced the 4 USB (1x1gb, 2x512mb, 1x128mb) drives I used to carry with one snazzy 4gb drive, but it is not shaped like an Autobot. Clearly, I must own those. They are so cool it hurts my bum.

So hey, I need a job please.

And a pug.