As I lay in bed last night desperately trying not to think of things so I could just fall asleep already, it occurred to me that a) my purple swirlie shirt did not make it back from the laundromat, and b) I did not do any sort of 2007 recap. Normally this would make me think even harder, but the Benedryl I had taken kicked in at that moment and I promptly fell asleep.

I solved the first mystery this morning – the shirt was buried under random pants and therefore did not make it to the ‘mat in the first place – but the second still weighed heavily on my befuddled mind. So, without further ado, I present to you 2007: A Year in Review.

2007 sucked.

It sucked a lot. I went through each month in my head and discovered horrible repressed memories, all of them to do with my former job. There were atrocities. There were tears of rage and disbelief. There were almost lawsuits! However, I am not allowed to talk about any of that anymore (seriously; this isn’t just some new chapter of self-restraint I’m showing here), so instead I will focus on the other things that happened in 2007.

People: Shan finally moved to Vancouver, we spent more time hanging out with Miranda and Reilly, Ali gave birth to River. Other babies were made, too – Marissa had Isaac, Heather made a Murrin, Sue had a Simon, and I know I am forgetting a few other babies because a frightening number of people I know had babies in 2007. Seriously people, what is with all the fertility? Scary.

Scooters: Everyone got scooters! It started with Reilly buying Sally, which made room for Oscar. Josh quickly followed up with his Ruckus; Miranda got a newer Honda Jazz, Shan opted to go Italia with her Piaggio Scarabeo, and Ed – after waiting for about 3 months – finally got his Dio. Our scooter gang has 6 people in it, and I cannot wait for spring to come around again so we can ride!

Accidents: I finally did end up in a hospital in 2007 after falling off Sally and dislocating my right shoulder in April. I’m mostly healed up; my left shoulder (likely wounded in the Great Fall of September ’07) is the one that’s been giving me the most grief. In 2007 I also gave up on wearing my Robot Feet altogether, and honestly, my feet have never felt so adequate. I can walk and everything! Mostly without buckets of horrible, debilitating pain! Sweet.

Angst: The alarming number of pregnancies led way to my having a minor crisis of the brain. Ed went back on his promise to me that I could have a pug, resulting in a great deal of resentment (go on, ask me if I’m over it yet), many tears, and no pug. Sasha got sick, losing more than half her body weight and shedding her ability to eat food that turns into poop instead of puke. That thing I can’t talk about.

Snails: I discovered our garden has SNAILS in it. I quickly became utterly obsessed with my slimy little friends, and spent a lot of time taking pictures of them. The absolute highlight of my Snail Year was this guy!

Miscellaneous: I went to CES ’07 to do commentary. Radio iTG was murdered by one of the founders. My mother sold her house and gave me an early inheritance, which was used to pay off all our debt. Ed and I celebrated our Five Slash Ten on Saltspring Island, and it was pretty damn awesome. I weaned myself off my brain medication with somewhat disastrous results but I’m feeling much better now thank you.

Hey look, I just found the list of goals I had for 2007. Let’s rehash and see how we did, shall we?

2007 Goals:

• Buy a bicycle and use it – DONE, although more riding could have been done
• Reduce our debt through any means necessary (cue ominous music) – DONE! The ominous music proved unnecessary; no one was harmed during the elimination of our debt!
• Get a PUG! Pug pug pug pug pug pug pug pug pug pug pug pug pug! – dot dot dot
• Have something – anything – published in print and receive payment for my words – okay, this didn’t happen mostly because I suck
• Save up for some new glasses – DONE! They are awesome.
• Become even more fabulous – DONE! I am terrific.
• Continue Operation: Fun – DONE, but there are a lot of things on the list that still need doing
• Prepare myself for foot surgery – NOT DONE! My foot doctor sucks ass and forgets that I exist until my next broken bone then he makes all kinds of promises to look into treatment for me until I limp out the door and he forgets me all over again

Well then. I suppose I met most of my goals, and one of the ones I missed was entirely Ed’s fault. What should I be doing for 2008?

• Get a goddamn job already
• Ride my bicycle more
• Scoot to Victoria; freak out the squares
• Drive to San Francisco! This year’s vacation is (finally) my choice, and we’re going to stand in the shadow of the Golden Gate!
• Get at least one tattoo – maybe 7!
• Resolve the pug issue once and for all (cue this year’s ominous music)
• Be more social
• Eliminate the (admittedly very small, but still) amount of debt incurred since eliminating all our debt

2008 HAS to be better than 2007, or I just plain give up.