Dear headhunters in Toronto:

I want a job, I really do. However, from your company alone, 3 people have contacted me 5 times about the same position – a 3-month contract astronaut job with my ORIGINAL SPACE STATION, in VICTORIA.

Let’s go over the logistical nightmare of this situation, shall we?

• Unless the contract job is for the most perfect, awesome, incredible, once-in-a-lifetime opportunity working in a candy, puppy dog and fireworks factory, I am not interested. I’ve been working under contract for almost 5 years now with no benefits, no vacation time, no security and I DO NOT WANT to do it again.
• I agree, I would be a great match for this position – because I’ve already done it. Same job, same company and if the pay is the same, I am soooo not interested.
• It’s in VICTORIA. While I know that Toronto is the center of the universe, do you really know that little about the geography of Canada? Do you honestly not know that Victoria is on an island, is not part of the GVA, and is a 4-hour commute from my house including the 90 minute, $68-one-way ferry ride? I know I’ve already told this to your company but obviously you do not talk to your coworkers so I will have to explain it to you and perhaps even bring up some Google Map action.
• Do you have any idea what the state of my mental well-being would be if I had to live with my mother for three months? You do NOT want to be responsible for that.

I finally emailed the guy back, explained the distance and asked if the company in question would be offering compensation for housing. He very quickly responded in the negative, so I think I’ve got him off my back for good. Now if he could just share this information with the other people from his company who keep contacting me for the same job, things would be just super.

I need a job. I’ve had two really good interviews that are currently in limbo and I don’t know when I’m going to hear back from them. Meanwhile, I’m depressed as all hell about this entire situation and .. well, let’s just say that it is not at all fun to be me right now. Not one little bit.